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i want to cry

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by GreenRaven, Aug 23, 2012.

  1. GreenRaven

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    for the past 2ish weeks the left side of my left hand/arm has been numb, and recently started getting very weak and painful. i just got home from the doctors, and he said i have severe ulnar neuropathy, and i have to contact a neurologist to make an appointment as soon as possible (waiting for them to call me back now). i also have to buy an elbow pad to protect the nerve from further damage. depending on how severe the damage is, it can take anywhere from a month to several months to heal, and if the damage is too severe i may never get full feeling back in my hand.

    i want to freaking just break down and cry. i'm a musician, i play guitar and love every moment of it....i can't even push the strings down anymore on a NYLON string guitar. this is so frustrating.

    to top it all off, my gf and i just broke up and i finally told her about being trans, and she tells me that she and her friend she just moved in with are getting together, and that she has loved him all along (she did make a point to say she did love me too). so there is no chance of us ever getting back together unless he lets her go, which he ain't gonna do.

    so....yeah....fml....i'm not sending her that song i wrote, i'm throwing it the fuck out. i'm done. just fucking done.
     
  2. heaveninursmile

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    Sometimes you see the most spectacular star
    In the darkest of nights
    And you wonder when you'll ever get that high
    You wonder how it must feel to live and die and still be alive.
     
  3. Nocturnal

    Nocturnal Guest

    That sounds so pretty. >__<

    Emotional/physical wounds takes time healing, my friend.
     
  4. GreenRaven

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    yeah, it's my signature, and is the opening to a song my cousin wrote.

    and i know they do it's just so frustrating....i thought i would have a chance at getting back with her if i got some help and got better...but apparently she's not even waiting a week after we break up.
     
  5. Nocturnal

    Nocturnal Guest

    I'm sorry. Surely you'll find someone better in the future. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Sayu

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    I feel very sorry for you... I am a musician as well and I honestly can't imagine to be in your situation :frowning2:
    I hope your hand will heal as soon as it can and that it will be eventually completely working again.

    As for the break up with your girlfriend... it sucks. But I bet you will find someone new and move on with them! Good luck with that! (*hug*)