thinking about going to this gay nightclub for lounge night but.....

It seems to me that you're already aware of a lot of the major potential pitfalls. While going out and meeting other gay people can certainly be a good thing, if you're going out to a club you of course run the risk of an sti if you do have (unprotected) sex with someone, and in my experience, you're less likely to meet a friend in a nightclub than someone who wants to hook up.

If you do decide to hook up with someone, then that's okay - there's nothing wrong with it, so long as you are very sure to practice safe sex (and if they don't want to, that's your big red flag to get out of there asap).

But quite frankly it sounds like your goal here isn't necessarily just a hookup - it sounds like you really just want to meet some gay people. I don't know where you're located, but there may be a lot of ways to meet people in less hormone-driven environments that might, ultimately, turn out to be a lot more fulfilling for you (again, based on what you've posted here). There are lots of things out there - gay gaming groups, gay biking and hiking clubs, gay movie nights, and so on.

 

Well that's okay too then - do you know anybody you could go to the nightclub with? Having a friend along might make you feel a lot more comfortable (plus it gives you an easy out if you decide you're not okay with a situation). If not, there are other places you could meet people who are looking for the same thing you are, and are willing to be safe about it.

Also, if you know what you want, where is your apprehension about the idea coming from? Just the idea of contracting an sti? Or something else?

 

If you go home with a guy from a club...try to just limit it to jerking each other off, its worked for me in the past...if your really into the guy let him know you would like to get to know him 'if he has any STD's e.t.c..' and your are up for round 2 sometime with oral involved...but theres always a risk! I have known guys who were a couple who passed a STD on to his BF....he messed around with another guy he didn't know about, its really all about gaining someones trust.

 

I think you put yourself in dangerous territory by feeling that you must have action-at-this-moment,-give-it-to-me-now. I understand the urge, I am currently there, but I know I won't die tomorrow if I don't get action soon. Things occur in stages, and I would much rather to through the progression and do 'it' the most healthy way, mentally and physically. As a fellow bench warmer, I long to wake up next to someone I know and trust, not someone I hardly know or trust. I also expect to already be in a relationship with that person. I feel like just doing 'it' with anyone would be like settling, and I hate settling.