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Help... Please? :(

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DepressedAngel, Aug 24, 2012.

  1. DepressedAngel

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    My best friend (14 and straight) and me (13 and bi) Are of course best friends... I have known him for 4-5 years. I am in 7th grade and him in 9th. I like him, no, I love him. I can't stop thinking about him, and whenever he goes to school (he walks) I just have to watch him... I always think about him. His funniness, his body, his personality, HIM IN GENERAL!! I know, I know, OMG STFU your only 13 your not mature enough to date let alone know your sexuality."

    No, I know I like him. Here is where I found out:

    One day, when I was 10, I went over to his house. (We live across the street from each other.) I don't remember how it happened, but, we started humping each other. We both laughed and laughed, until I realized... I started to like it. Then I loved it, then after that, I have kept this secret for 3 years... And it is bugging the hell out of me. He has never commented about the day (me either, because I don't want to make it awkward.)

    Trust me... I can't make these feelings go away! I have tried (for 3 years) and it hasn't worked. By the way, I haven't came out to him.:tears::tears::tears: :help:
     
  2. AshenAngel

    AshenAngel Guest

    The first step is always accepting yourself, so you've got the hardest part down already:slight_smile:
     
  3. DepressedAngel

    Regular Member

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    Re: Help... Please? :frowning2: (straight best friend crush)

    BuMp...
     
  4. IllusiveRannoch

    Regular Member

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    hey there, and welcome to EC. (*hug*)it's ok, i know how you feel. i too have this friend i had fun with when i was your age, 13. we've been best friends since 3rd grade, and in our early teens, we were incredibly close. i felt as though i was safe to talk to him about anything. so one day, me, him, and another friend were simultaneously feeling pretty curious about the others' penis, and talking about sex in general. we started saying what we thought it'd be like to live out each others sex fantasies, like how deep would we go inside the person of our fantasy, what kind of foreplay would we want, ect. obviously our penis was erect by that time, so we each agreed to see what the other was like.....i found myself enjoying the situation... a lot.

    a few weeks after, we rarely spoke of it again and went onto other topics. but i felt as though the trust level between me, my best friend, and my other friend was very much deepened. i felt very similar about him the way you feel about your best friend. i went over to his house when i could, played outside & inside with him, did things like video games, or cowboys & Indians, which is funny considering we used bb guns and real bow & arrows. yeah. but still lots of fun. both our families were having parental marital problems, and we often gave each other emotional support. at times, his dad beat him, and when we talked about it, i felt terrible when he told me he wished he was physically strong enough to fight back. feeling powerless to do anything else, i hugged him then. we both were crying. at that moment, i think we both felt that the safest place in the world was in arms of the other. we both cried & hugged for a quite a while.

    i know it may seem like the scariest thing in the world, but if you're both trusting enough of the other in talking about intimate personal matters, setting aside some time & maybe a conversation between you and him might help. maybe giving this a shot: 'Hey, um...(look deep in eyes) can i talk to you about something very...personal?', or if he has a girlfriend, 'hey, i've been thinking about relationships like yours, and um...(pause w/ more serious face w/ lighter voice) i kind of want it too, only...with a guy' might even set the mood well between you and him to freely talk about how you feel towards him. that awkward silence moment that might just linger, could be pushed aside with a joke or funny face that says 'suprise' to lighten up.

    about the age part, i don't think age is an absolute prerequisite for maturity. i've seen that people & family can be old & look like santa, & still be as lazy as a reptile chillin' on a hot rock.