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How to get over a straight girl crush?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by indivision, Aug 24, 2012.

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  1. indivision

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    So. I know most, if not all of us have been in a situation like this. I really like this girl that I'm fairly good friends with. Like, I REALLY like her, I have for quite a while. I'm just really attracted to everything about her, but she's straight, and has a boyfriend. Does anyone have any advice on how to get past it? Should I tell her how I feel, or keep it to myself as to avoid making our friendship weird? I have no idea what to do here. :frowning2:
     
  2. Nocturnal

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    Hmm, what I do when I am attracted to a straight girl is be negative about it. >.< but I don't recommend doing that because it's depressing. lol.

    If you want to tell her, maybe find out what she thinks of LGBT.
     
  3. 2hotinhere

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    Uh..
    well, I rather run away with my feelings and not tell her about it.
    Because, if she was to say, "sorry, but i'm straight". I would be really really sad. Idk.. i'm so weird that way.

    But in truth, just try to forget about her and move on. Yes, move on. It happen to everyone. She has a boyfriend so her heart is occupied. It's best if you move on. If you see her down the road in life in the future, and she's single, maybe you can hit her up.. and she if she might have feelings for you.

    But for now, she's taken. No point of confession unless your looking for sympathy from her side.. (which sometime, you might not even get). Best if you just try to forget her and move on.

    And, yes, you will move on one day.
     
  4. Derpette

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    Well this can be really tricky. I don't have any advice how to get over somebody, I'm in this situation myself and can't get the person out of my mind...Anyway, how does she feel about lgbt stuff? And how do you think she would react if you told her?

    I'd say it depends a lot on circumstances. For now, I wouldn't say anything but if it gets to the point that it is unbearable for you to hide it, I would tell her.
     
  5. smprob

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    It depends on how she would react. Isn't it better trying to find out how she would act if a friend told her something like that, as you are good friends.

    If it's me I wouldn't tell her, bc I don't see any reason to tell. She has a boyfriend and you seem to think she'll not change from being straight. So what's the benefit of telling her other than sharing your emotions with her. you likely to not have a kind of future you would like with her.

    Also it could just give her an unwanted situation ( if she think it is so) to deal in your friendship. Anyway I think reactions may depend on how she feels about being gay and having a gay friend attracted. Are you out to her as a lesbian. If she knows I think then it could be different, still no one can be sure.
     
  6. indivision

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    Yeah, you guys are right, I think telling her would probably be pointless. It just sucks because I'm not entirely sure about how she feels about LGBT things, and I haven't come out to her, but I'm pretty sure she knows I'm gay. I guess I should just kinda wait for this one to kinda fizzle out and move on.
     
    #6 indivision, Aug 26, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2012
  7. musikk021

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    I've definitely been there and am still there. I've been in love with one of my closest friends (who's straight) for over 7 years. A huge crush in the 8th grade turned into falling in love...madly, deeply, hopelessly in love. She became the center of my world, and we spent all our time together. Long story short, she kind of cut me off out of nowhere towards the end of our sophomore year of high school. I never knew why, and it took a while for us to get back to "normal," though things never went back to the way they were before. We lost, or at least I lost, that super close relationship we had. During that time, I fell into a deep depression that I'm still in. I'm still not over her and it pains me every day.

    I'd suggest you don't let it get to this point for you. Try your hardest to avert your feelings for your friend; you don't want to end up falling so hard for her that you get depressed. Do not tell her how you feel unless you find out she's bi or something. Telling her would only makes things worse - I can almost guarantee it. Nothing good can come of it. It's not like she's going to celebrate it. It's not like she's going to break up with her boyfriend and then date you. It's not like it's going to strengthen your friendship. So, in conclusion, don't tell her. In terms of getting over her, just realize that she's unavailable and that you can't be with her. I know this isn't always an effective deterrent...I mean, look at me. But, still try to think of it that way. Also, you can turn your affections elsewhere. Find someone else to crush on...someone who's available and gay!

    Good luck, and I hope you get over her soon! Haha.
     
  8. smprob

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    I can tell you what I do most times. I start to think of negative things on that crush.
    All the things that I could find to dislike that person (I've not noticed before)
    and difficulties I'd have to face/go through or good things I loose from having any connection with that person/relationship(if such ever could happened in future) or keeping that crush.(sometime I use imagination)

    A crush starts bc we find s/he flawless in our eyes. Even there are some flaws we assume we are OK with those and can bear them then start to admire that person(with me anyways). So when I want to end a crush I start looking for flaws, things I didn't notice before (even they are small),I start telling myself not THAT perfect as I thought. But mind, that's only when I have to be around that person. other times I avoid thinking about it. at the end I feel safe to be around comfortably,lol.
    I've seen the best method is letting go. when we keep meddling with something it tends to stay in mind as well if positively looked at it feelings keep growing itself.Best results came using both together.
     
    #8 smprob, Aug 26, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2012
  9. threeveils

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    Think about all her bad habits it could be the wats shd types or the taste of music or series that she's watches or you could judge her bad taste in clothing it could be just anything. And also try bitching about her with your best friend:icon_wink
     
  10. notgonnahappen

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    I just went through the same thing these past few days. Apparently my friend already knew I had a crush on her and kinda forced me to tell her. She was really cool about me having feelings for her, like she didn't mind that I had a crush on her. But after I told her we talked and every time I see her I just feel awkward around her she told me its only awkward if I make it awkward but I can tell things aren't gonna be the same between us. Thank God its summer and I have time to get over her before I see her again next year. I know this is really late but I just wanted to know how are you doing? Like were you able to get over her? And if so what did you do?
     
  11. Gallatin

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    Hey y'all, please try to pay attention to dates when posting - this thread is close to two years old. Thanks! :slight_smile:
     
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