I'm 17, and I had my first real relationship with a girl who is now my best friend. That was when I was 13. I've been with guys - I've even had sex with one and did other stuff with two others. I feel like I HAVE to be with a guy. I haven't been happy with a guy, I've only tricked myself into thinking I was happy. I've made people think I was a lesbian MANY times and not because I was making out with a cute chick - just by how I was acting. My earliest memory of being attracted to females was in 2nd grade. There was a teacher in her 20s who had huge tits and she was wearing a tight maroon sweater... I wanted to touch them. I didn't know why but I REALLY wanted to and I couldn't stop staring. I always liked guys that a bunch of other girls liked so I wouldn't be considered weird. Most of my friends are guys. I feel like I think like a guy so I seek out guys to be friends with. I know what to expect from them. But girls... I get so nervous around them. Especially the pretty preppy girls (weird considering I'm the opposite of that). My weakness is butch or semi-butch ones though... And I think I like FtM transgender people. I just don't know how to accept it. Everytime I think about it I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. :'( Advice? Please?
It's not an easy thing to accept but you are doing the right thing, you are doing the hard work and being honest with yourself and seeking out feedback. I sincerely wish you the very best. In the end I think you will be happy with yourself.
it's isn't easy for eveyone, I denied my sexuality for the longest time. The is not timeline for coming out and coming to terms with yourself, you have the time so do be worried about using it that is what it's there for.
