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Do you think he liked me?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Drakey, Aug 25, 2012.

  1. Drakey

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    So I was feeling really lonely last night and there didn't seem to be any parties going on, so I texted my gay friend asking if he knew any guys who were single and willing to meet up to maybe date, so he gave me his friends number. His friend then invited me over to a party at his house and he and I completely hit it off. We were literally able to carry on a conversation for the entire night, and we were hanging out in his room, just him and me, talking for 45 minutes. I liked him a lot, and I really haven't felt like this about anybody for a long time. Only problem is that he is way out of my league and I'm afraid he will think he's too good for me and he's a few years older than me. He and I just had so much in common and I really want to pursue a relationship with him. I really didn't try to make any moves last night because he told me that he likes taking relationships slow and I didn't want to alienate him by going too fast. I also guess I didn't want to go too fast either because I actually really do like him. He seemed to like me back a lot, but like I said I'm afraid of rejection and this is something I'd actually really like to stick. Any advice or anything?
     
  2. Gen

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    The only advice I can give is that it doesnt seem like you need any advice at all. You guys had a great first meeting and impression. He was interested in you enough to talk to you all night and even disclose how he likes to proceed in relationships. It seems to me that the feelings are mutual.

    And dont be afraid. If he doesnt think you are of his league now than he never will. Plus, dont we always think our partners are out of our league. I'm sure he is currently thinking the same thing ^_^
     
  3. DepressedAngel

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    Ok well, first off, does he know your gay? If not, tell him your gay but do not reveal your feelings. Then start hanging out with him more and if he likes you sooner or later he will reveal he is gay also, and then WA LA! There ya go.

    And if all else fails you said you asked your GAY FRIEND for someone to hang out with. Why not go out with him?
     
  4. Drakey

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    we both knew the other was gay xD the whole point of the meetup was to meet another potential date. He and I were talking openly of being gay x3 also my gay friend has a boyfriend.

    I'm just really scared to ask since I'm a freshman and he's a senior and he might not want to date me x.x but on the other hand he and I just got along so well...and I thought he was really really cute..
     
  5. Sartoris

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    Warning: Should mention that my social experience and wisdom is extremely lacking, so any advice or input that I would give on such matters should be taken with a grain of salt.

    Now, that being said, I couldn't say from your post alone whether he "likes" you or not but at the very least, if a person who you met through a mutual friend has alot in common with you, is comfortable with talking to you for forty-five minutes straight it would suggest to me that he enjoys your company.

    As others will probably say, and as you yourself mention, it's not a good idea to push the idea of dating so soon. Because you both just met and seem to get along quite well, I would just try to get to know him better, make plans to hang out and whatnot. If your feelings only become deeper with time, then you can work on finding out whether they are mutual. If they don't turn out to be, then at the very 'worst' you'll have just made another friend. :slight_smile:
     
  6. DepressedAngel

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    Don't be dumb, sweetie. If he didn't like you he would not have kept conversation with you and it would have kind of been awkward.
     
  7. Drakey

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    I still have my doubts because both of us weren't entirely sober, but still very coherent. :/
     
  8. DepressedAngel

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    Well next time you visit, well, how do I put this?

    LEAVE THE ALCOHOL ALONE!

    Get to REALLY know him. You'll be impressed with the results.
     
  9. Drakey

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    we were both sober when I got there and I wasn't very drunk until the end of the night.
     
  10. Sartoris

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    So is one of your concerns that you two may not click as well when sober and/or if you get together again? If so, I don't see why, from the sound of things you both got on very well with each other.

    However, if you're particularly apprehensive about getting in touch, perhaps you could ask your friend to do some 'reconaissance', so to speak. You know, the next time he talks with or sees this other guy, have him casually bring your meeting up in the conversation. Find out what he [the other guy, that is] thinks of you and whether he'd like to hang out again sometime.
     
  11. Drakey

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    It's not that I guess. I guess I'm just afraid that he viewed me as a much more suitable person if he was drunk. But then again, he seemed too smart to do something like that. I will do some "recon" once I get to know him better.
     
  12. Sartoris

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    Yeah, from your comments there's nothing which suggests his drinking was for any underhanded sort of reason.

    However you decide to proceed, I wish you the best of luck and hope everything goes well. :slight_smile:
     
  13. Salazar

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    RARARARAR! Now that I have your attention, definitely follow up! Don't lose it! Just go for it. There are really two options; sit around and regret not doing anything, constantly checking to see if he's texted you (that's what I'd do, anyway :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:) or call him and see if he wants to do something. Drunkness tends to enhance what is already there, and if he hadn't liked you, you'd know about it by now!

    DO IT! Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  14. Aldrick

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    Call or text him. Tell him how much fun you had with him the other night, and that you'd like to hang out again very soon. Then give a date, like say next Saturday or something, and ask if he's free.

    Confidence is sexy. Don't say he's out of your league; that's your insecurity talking. There isn't no one out of your league - there is no such thing as a league. Move first. It shows confidence and decisiveness.

    If he can't do next Saturday, then set another date. You have one goal. To meet this guy again, even if it's early morning over a cup of coffee at a local coffee shop near where he lives.

    If you hit it off with him as well as you say, chances are he is nervous as well and trying to work up the courage to say something to you. If you're both waiting for the other to make the next move, neither of you will make the next move. IMO, it's time to step up. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    You don't have to call it a date. Just tell him you want to continue the conversation you were having, let him know that you enjoyed yourself, and how it was nice to meet someone who holds common interests.
     
  15. Drakey

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    I did just remember something, he walked me home at the end of the night and he didn't have to o.o that must mean something
     
  16. Gen

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    I'm telling you, if it feels right than stop overthinking it. Continue to get in contact and hang out and see where it takes you. Live a little :slight_smile:
     
  17. BudderMC

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    I absolutely 100% echo what Aldrick said. Be confident. You can be confident and take things slow, but you need to let him know you're interested, and setting up another time to get together with him does just that. And like Aldrick said, you don't have to preface the next meeting as "a date", but go hang out and if you're feeling something clicks, then you can bring up the idea if there's anything more than friends between you two.

    And confidence IS sexy, so forget about this "out of your league" crap. Let me put it into perspective for a second: you think he's out of your league because you really really like him. Now, if he really really likes you, he's probably thinking you're out of HIS league. Someone's gotta man up and organize another date. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    (sidenote: look up the "what is beautiful is good" heuristic if you want more info on why we think people are "out of our league". Or ask me, I could explain it)
     
  18. Aldrick

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    I'm telling you straight up. It sounds like this guy was into you as much as you were into him.

    If you wait several days before you work up the courage to call or text him, then it's going to be even more awkward and difficult because of the time that has passed. If this guy likes you as well, he might be feeling the same level of insecurity. He might be waiting for you to make the next move. As time goes by he's probably going to think, "OMG. What if he didn't like me? What if that is why he isn't calling me?"

    Gen is right. Stop over thinking it. The worst thing he can do is tell you that he isn't interested. Is that the end of the world? No. It might hurt a bit, but you'll move on with your life. If you don't do it, though, you're going to be left wondering what if something could have happened between the both of you, but didn't because you didn't step up and take a chance.

    You lose nothing by taking a chance, and like I said you don't have to call it a date. Just be honest and tell him that you enjoyed yourself, that you had fun, that it was nice to meet someone who held the same interests as you, and that you'd like to get together again and hang out.
     
  19. Iamthewalrus

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    Sounds like what happened when me and my boy met, it took us 7 months to get together because we were both unwilling to take a risk and if I could go back I would have taken that risk a lot earlier. When you were talking, did you get any info on what he likes to do in his spare time? Anything at all that you could use to contact him again and see if he wants to meet up? If you were talking for the entire night you must have something to go on, surely.

    I know it's tough, but I think you will regret it if you let yourself hide behind 'he doesn't like me' and 'he's out of my league', because you might just be talking yourself out of making a relationship (be it romantic or otherwise) with this guy that might lead to other positive things if it doesn't work out romantically with him. So take it slow, but don't defeat yourself before you've started. You've received some good advice previously, I do hope you can manage to take some of it.
     
  20. Lad123

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    You stud (!)