I am 19 years old and i have always thought i was gay since as young as i can remember. But till i was 17 i had never been with anyone or even kissed anyone, then one day a girl i knew kissed me and we became an item now we have been going out for nearly 2 and a half years, the thing is i love her so much and dont want to lose her but im so confused if i love her because she is my best friend or my girlfriend. I never thought i would cheat on her but then me and my best friend who is also a girl got really drunk and had sex i really regret it because im not attracted to her in that way it was just a drunk mistake. Then a few days later me and my friends went clubbing and i kissed this guy we made out loads, i was very drunk then we went back to his place and gave each other head. I dont know if i want a guy or a girl and im not sure how i feel. Then i went away for a few days to see one of my friends who is gay, we made out then we slept together and to be honest i really enjoyed it and felt so close to him it was really nice, because i enjoyed it so much i didnt know if i was gay or not. I kissed 2 other guys while i was there too. Im ashamed of how easy i was but i was confused and felt really alone. Then back in london i kissed my girlfriends brothers best friend and she found out but forgave me and were still together, i dont know what to do if i want to be with her or if i want to be with a guy. Also my girlfriend lost someone very important in her life a year ago and i feel i have been her rock the one who has always been there for her, im not sure she could cope alone if i left her. But i keep thinking about one of my gay friends in a sexual way, im so confused as to what i want in life, it would be nice just to talk to someone about it because i never told anyone all of this ever. Thank you
Welcome to EC! You could be bisexual. Give it some time and you'll figure things out. You're still young and full of hormones. It's probably not a good time to be in a relationship since you apparently want to fool around with lots of people. That's fine, but just not while in a relationship unless she agrees to it being open. Good luck
Yeah, a relationship doesn't really sound like it's the right thing for you right now. If you continue to be with this girl, then you won't know what you really like, unless you keep being unfaithful, which is not good nor fair to her. If you end the relationship, then you can experiment freely and find out what you like without feeling guilty. Breaking up doesn't mean you can't be friends if you end it on positive terms, so you could still be there for her regarding the death when she needs it.
