Betrayed by my best friends- what should I do?

Quite honestly, I think you should contact your old friends, tell them you're a lesbian(I assume based on you information - I also assume they know?) and that what was in the past is in the past and you just want to be friends again.

Yes, it's a betrayal, but trust me, if you don't just get over it, this could eat you up and affect any future friendships you have with other people - I speak from experience.

If I've read it right, you were dating a guy who kissed one of your friends, but the fact you say he's "no big loss" probably accounts for why he cheated on you - people, even boys, can sense when the other person isn't fully in a relationship, and will seek others for their needs.

Your girly friends, well, they live together, so obviously even for sake of peace at home, will stand by each other, regardless of what their actual opinions of what happened are, because they want the harmony.

I promise you, your friend Kelli will know she's behaved poorly, but, like most of us, will be very defensive.

You have to decide for yourself though, which is more important. Your friendship or the betrayal.

 

Sorry this all happened to you (*hug*)

I wouldn't recommend confronting your friends about the whole thing again. Yes, its a crappy situation, but, as hard as it is, you have to let it go. It all happened because they are shitty people and not because you at all. Don't let it affect you from trusting others

Eh, not quite. He cheated on her because he is a scumbag. If someone feels ignored or doesn't feel the relationship then the correct thing to do is to either talk about it or break up. Cheating and then trying to rationalize it doesn't make it any better.

 

I don't like your terminology.
Personally, I could say that someone who leading someone on, who knows in themselves that they aren't meant to be with someone because they're not that way inclined, I could use the word "scumbag" on them(Oblina, I'm making a point, not actually labelling you as such). Good people make bad choices.

Now, you and Oblina could be very good friends, you could spend all your time away from here together, and have all the ins and outs on her and her friends/relationships(in an unbiased way, of course), but I don't, so I refrain from judging a person I've never met for doing something like this as I don't have the context of the persons motives.

I don't condone cheating, however, I do believe that there are often good reasons why someone does something like this.
Take the example in this thread.
If you were in a relationship with someone who was emotionally distant, who then went on holiday for a month, and you found yourself hanging out with friends and, in the heat of the moment, there was a situation where something happened, then I find that forgivable.
Thats not rationalising anything, as things like this happen. The fact, in this specific case, that the boyfriend told Oblina what happened when she returned from her holiday, when he didn't really have to, well that also shows a certain level of moral fibre.

People make mistakes, and, while I'm sure you're going to live a blame free life, TheEdend, a life where you never do anything to hurt someone else, I think it's pretty rude to use words like "scumbag" in situations like this.

 

Sweety,(*hug*)

everyone needs hugs, from what I understand, you're all in College, therefore all adults, I think the best thing for you to do is ask to talk to them as adults and explain how you feel, because from what you posted, I don't think you have been listened to.
You say that you were with this boy for four year? In my opinion then regardless of whether or not you are being distant you deserve more than to be told your bf cheated whilst you are on holiday.

 

You are right, I shouldn't have called him a scumbag. I should have said that he was acting like one.

Then we are simply going to have to agree to disagree. In my opinion, there is no excuse for cheating on people at all. For every excuse or scenario, the answer will always be break up with them or talk about it. There is not one single scenario where I would go "Oh, okay then don't worry. Completely understandable"

And please, I have hurt plenty of people in my life, I have fucked people over with mistakes and I have made people hate me. In those instances, yes, I was a total scumbag who was selfish and didn't think about other people. Just because people make mistakes doesn't mean they are horrible people without any hope, but just because its a mistake doesn't mean that said action isn't reprehensible.

I do respect your points and it brings an interesting debate, but my god you are passive-aggressive.

@OP: Sorry for derailing the thread. Go you!

 

Passive-aggressive/sarcastic/not entertaining fools - I've been accused of this and worse, but, I'm not actually the one labelling people I don't know, who've made a silly mistake with, quite frankly, mitigating circumstances as presented, so I'm comfortable with it. I will confess, it was calling the guy a "scumbag" which is what I particularly took issue with.

As I said, I don't condone cheating, I think it's horrible, however, I can understand and appreciate why people would do it, and I certainly wouldn't hastily jump to judging them to be a bad person(or scumbag) without all the facts, especially if all the facts I had so far were from one side of the issue.
As I said, good people do bad things.

But, you're right, we shouldn't derail the thread any longer.