Ok, so most of you know that I went on a date with a friend of mine, Ben, on Monday. It went pretty well, and we're gonna get dinner and watch something (probably more Warehouse 13) on Netflix Friday afternoon. Actually, I had dinner with him a couple of hours ago. Now, he's the first guy I've liked who has shown any kind of interest back (yay on that one (!) ) but a side-effect of that is, I really don't know what dating and a relationship is actually like. I wrote a thread earlier in the week about being frightened of intimate contact, but after thinking about it a little, I think I know what's going on - I didn't try to initiate intimate contact because I was enjoying spending time with him way too much to take it farther, not because I was scared. Also, I just had a very interesting convo with a friend I haven't seen for a few months, and he said something that I think is SO true (yes, a straight guy inadvertently gave a gay boy advice :lol. Anyway, he said the best relationships are centered around the idea of "what can I give to the relationship to make the other person's life better" as opposed to "how can this relationship make my life better." And I say, without immodesty, that I'm approaching things with Ben with the former far more in mind than the latter. Ben is seriously just an amazing guy, and he deserves to know how amazing he is. Neither of us ever wants the other to be upset (in fact, while on the phone last night, we both apologized for things we didn't need to apologize for, which pretty much describes our dynamic ) and we always have a good time when we spend time together. I guess what I'm trying to say is that while yeah, he is my 'type' (I go for nerdy and awkward guys) my attraction to him somehow transcends that. I'm attracted to him because he's Ben and I can't see my life without him. Ok, on to what I'm asking for advice about. Is there a word for this kind of feeling? Because I can tell him everything I just wrote, but I'd rather be able to condense it if I can. Thanks
I don't think there is a single word, but I think there are a few that could help in a summary of that: Love Contentment Happiness Soul Mates(if you believe in that concept). Personally, though, if I was you, I would actually just tell your chap what you've written here. Sometimes it doesn't matter how concise or succinct you are, it's what you say
I think you should tell him everything you just wrote. Condensing it would just make it less specific and less authentic. The "I can't see my life without him" feeling is commonly referred to as being in love, I believe. But it might be a little soon for the love word. If you do decide to use it, it should still be supported by everything you wrote, so that it's clear what you mean. EDIT: Oh, and congratulations! (Yay for nerd love...)
Well when we were at dinner, I casually mentioned that I've realized my type is nerdy and awkward guys, pointedly looking at him. He smiled a little and said it made sense. In that moment, I felt like I could say "I love you" without feeling awkward, but because we've only been on 1 date, and haven't kissed yet, I feel like it would've been too soon.
The standard rule of human interactions is that it's usually best to address questions about how you should act towards another person by asking the person in question.
Skydiving. Can't go wrong with skydiving. Or just be honest with him. Tell him you have no clue what you're doing, and with any luck hell find it cute!
Thanks for the words of advice, guys. This is my first relationship (or will be, I'm not sure what the right phrase to use here is :lol and I just want him to enjoy it as much as I do.
