Im a 17 year old guy, I have a 14 year old sister and a 19 year old brother with cerebral palsey who cant walk, barely talk, and so on. My parents for the last few years have grown apart a lot, they fight often, and my mom constantly says "dad doesnt love me any more" and me and my sister over hear her say this to him in fights, and have heard her propose divorce to him and more often than not he keeps quiet, and when he does speak during the fight, he seems almost reluctant but says no. My dad is a very cheerful joking sort of guy, always good to be around, except around my mom, his mood changes, he becomes irritable, and unhappy, he is under a lot of stress from his job at the moment as it has required a huge portion of his time and energy, but he has managed to stay apart of the family, my mom on the other hand, has a half sort of job, our grand dad has an estate agency and she works for him, when she feels like it pretty much, she has gained a lot of wait, is constantly eating, her manners have become shocking, shes a constant bitch about everything, such as this evening, she shat on me for waiting till the last minute before my brothers "bed time" to give him his bottle (as he cannot feed or drink for himself or drink from a cup) meanwhile I cant remember one instance in the last 2 years that my mom has had any interaction with him other than the occasional hello and goodnight, my mom went to rehab at the end of last year for certain things and was out by january, she did great, but is starting to go back to her old ways, they really really arent happy with eachother, and i personally think they are causing more harm than good by trying to keep their marriage together, more harm to themselves aswel as o our family.I really have no idea what to do, and would really appreciate any help that i can get.
It sounds like you are in a really difficult place. I can understand why you consider divorce to be a solution. Your parents are clearly having a tough time together and it is terrible that you have to overhear your Mum's feeling of insecurity regarding your Dad's love. Unfortunately they have to sort this out for themselves. With your Mum's recovery (you don't say what she was in rehab for but I'm presuming she is in recovery- forgive me if not) and caring for your brother, your family has a lot on its plate. Who is looking after you? And taking care of your needs? I know how tough it is to be around warring parents, I was there from aged 13-17+. My parents separated when I was 17 and divorced when I was 19. What has been most damaging is that no one was there to listen to how I felt about the whole thing so I buried my feelings. Is there anyone you talk to outside of your family about how difficult things are? Please keep sharing. People here will listen. Take care of yourself Rose
I agree with Rose, your parents need to sort out their own problems, as much as you might want to you can't do it for them, I know from experience. I completely understand your frustration living with them, my parents really should get divorced also, they bring out the worse in each other and my dad is a jerk to begin with. For me the worst part was that they always tried to put me in the middle of their fights and basically play judge, not cool and plus I'm an only child so I pretty much relied on myself growing up around constantly fighting parents. To repeat what Rose said, do you have anyone outside your family you can talk to about this? It really does help, I spent the majority of my life keeping things bottled up and it left me pretty messed up, but once I started talking about I felt a lot better. Keep posting on here and send me a wall message if you want to talk, you can't PM yet since you're not a full member yet. Hang in there(*hug*)
