I basically denied any feelings towards other girls until i was about 14. i found the thought pretty terrifying when i was younger. i always thought "it's good if you can be straight, because life is so much easier". then i would think, "good job i'm straight then...". i honestly thought i was straight, because i didn't mind going along with other girls in idolizing boys. but around my 14th birthday, i realised that i had strong lesbian urges. and now i feel really wierd. i mean, teeangers always feel like they're in transition and they don't know quite who they are... but sometimes i feel like i don't recognise myself at all. because for years i honestly thought i was straight, and now, i feel like i've opened the floodgates to something i was sure i didn't have to deal with. and it feels like i'm a different person from who i was during all those years in denial, which i know is wrong, but i can't help it. it makes me feel like i don't know myself. has anybody else spent a significant proportion of time sure they knew their orientation, only to have the whole thing shaken up?
Uhhh... like my entire life until about 2 years ago. I COMPLETELY thought I was straight. I even "dated" some girls (if middle school dating is dating). Then when I got further into puberty, I had no more interest in girls. Period. It's like I had a two-way switch in my brain and someone flipped it from the STRAIGHT to the GAY setting. I guess I finally had my revelation of who I was. After that (sometimes even now), I still get confused, but pretty much I'm in the clear about myself. Want to talk about it some more -> pm me
I was in major denial from about 12 straight through until 23. During this time there was unconscious denial - in that I can say *I just really didn't know* - but there was also conscious denial - as in "I'm not gay I'm just confused/admire her/haven't met the right guy yet". But yeah, kinda thought I was straight for about 11-12 years, but oscillated between conscious and unconscious denial. And discovering I was not straight was a HUGE SHOCK. Even though on some level I already knew it....oh denial....!!
I slipped into denial at 13 years old when I started crushing on a girl in the year above. I passed it off as a 'phase'..typical I know, lol..well look at me now..gay all the way.
I've been in denial since a couple months ago, and I'm still discovering aspects of it. I find the extent of my denial to be unsettling. Why don't I like any guys? I haven't found the right one yet (I went years and years). Why am I always looking at other girls? Well, I'm just competitive like that. What are these infatuations with other women? I just admire them and want to be friends. Why aren't I interested in checking out pictures of random hot guys? My sexuality doesn't work that way; I'm into personality. But then why am I always looking at pictures of beautiful womem I don't even know? Cut it out, brain!
Me too. I've been in denial for almost 10 years, until 6-8 months ago. And I was so deeply and so strongly denying my 'gay side' that it actually affected everything in my life and made it so...colourless, montone, if you know what I mean. I'm just glad that's over
Hey, I was in denial up till i was 15, thats when i could not deny it anymore but i've accepted it now Catch
Oh yeah, definitely... I don't think I was even in denial at first, being gay was just not a possibility in my mind.
I was in denial from ages 11 to 13, trying to convince myself that it was a phase or that I could turn myself straight if I tried hard enough, but I finally accepted who I was shortly after.
