well, Sorry if it sounds like broken record with all the crushes and "maybe's" that everyone seems to have. Well, My former best friend (Best friend= Love) and I are talking again. At the end of last school year me and him fought. It started in december last year I think, But Something snapped in me, "he'll never love me" and I became depressed and bitter towards him, and to him, I was his best friend in the entire world. And I treated him badly :/ I quit talking to him altogether this summer, I felt bad, so I talked to him and apologized. To my complete surprise, he forgave me straight away, and said he missed me. Another erie thing( Im NOT lying) was that that week, I had been having dreams about talking to him and becoming friends, and also coming out to him. I did not mention it, but the dream drove me to talk to him, and he told me that it was weird because he had been having dreams about us. (insert heart pounding) Well... For the longest time before, I had this wild fantasy that he would tell me he loves me yada yada yada. And I always caught just staring at me. I always saw from the corner my eye, I knew it. He would stare for a very long time. And we had a couple of intimate moments like almost cuddling several times and faces almost meet. But he took me back so easily. And today in class, I caught him staring at me again. I know this guy is sexual with girls, He's a virgin, but I know hes had hand jobs and he's fingered people. It just bothers me how overly attached and needy he is to me. It doesn't seem like a regular friendship. He does consider me his brother. Is that something that straight guys do with a deep friendship? Act needy and attached. He's never acted that way to a girl that I've seen, Kind of a friends with benefits type of guy. How should I handle this, before I crush again. And should I tell him I'm gay? I don't want him to reject me, but if it means hell back off and maybe realize he's getting a little too close to a gay guy who is really close to him, then I guess I'll say so. Meh.
We'll I dont know what to say, your last two paragraphs stole my advice ( ._.). In all seriousness, If you are fine with coming out to him then I would say go for it. It seems as though your relationship is weighing on you, so I dont see a negative in coming out. There are many "clingy" straight men so there isnt a way to tell.
My very straight best friend who knows my orientation is very clingy, needy, and protective of me. Even before he knew. I literally couldn't talk to a male stranger at a bar (just a conversation, mind you) without him coming over to the other side of said stranger and be all menacing like a fight was somehow imminent. Your best bet - come out to him if you feel ready. See where it goes from there.
oh wow.. ive gone through what you are going through right now just recently. my best friend is also very clingy and protective. we have gone through times where we fought and i decided not to talk to him for 6 months.. and we ofcourse we are still best friends. so i developed a crush on him similar to your story. i couldnt stand it anymore and i told him how i felt. well unfortunately for he didnt feel the same way.. but he still wanted to be friends. im telling you.. it hurts.. hurts alot.. but after a while you realize how much of a true friend they are. and your friendship will not be the same.. but it might be stronger than you realize. if you tell him you will have an answer.. if he loves you back great! if he doesnt then you can move on instead of obsessing. its not healthy. trust me. also you will know if he is truly your best friend.. if he is .. he will accept you for who you are.. im lucky.. i still have my best friend after i told him.. hurt.. but lucky. good luck with watever you decide
It's quite possible for straight guys to be very close to other men but not have any sexual connection to them. It's also possible that he is gay and in denial. No way to tell. So you have to decide if telling him you're gay is the right thing to do at this juncture. And I really can't tell you what the right thing to do is in that situation. If he is gay, he may not be ready to tell you yet, which could further complicate matters. So if you tell him, be prepared for him to be uncomfortable with it, if he's gay but not yet ready to accept it for himself or tell you. I wish I had a great solution for you but I think in this case, you just have to decide whether your orientation is something you're ready to bring into your friendship or not
Thanks guys, I going to keep my mouth shut right now, I'm going through too much right now, down to the point I'm questioning my gender. I can't lose a friend right now..
