He's one of the few people that I haven't come out to regarding my orientation yet, and for very good reason. 1) Only in the past year or so have we really started actually getting along and not fighting over every little thing, and I don't want to ruin that by saying I like girls. I know that if he doesn't accept me for who I am I shouldn't have him in my life (because that's what I would do for anyone else who didn't accept me) but I'd rather not have to do that. He's my brother after all, and I do want him in my life. 2) From what I can tell, he's had little experience with the lgbtq community - and what he has seen/heard about us isn't entirely positive. Our family found out (about a year ago) that my/my brother's biological uncle is gay as this relative was going to court for murdering someone. I'm not sure if he's aware our uncle is gay, but if I come out to him there's a chance he'll believe I'm going to go out and murder someone because I'm gay. Which is silly, and very untrue, but it could turn out that way, if he knows our uncle was gay - he has a tendency to generalize situations/people due to previous experience. On the other hand, he does know an out lesbian and didn't freak out over it (to my knowledge anyway). He did mention it to our adopted mom and just said 'so and so's a lesbian' or something along those lines. 3) If I do tell him, there's a chance he's going to go around and start telling everyone else he knows - mostly due to impulsive tendencies and he probably doesn't know he shouldn't out people. One of our mutual acquantainces (who I work for and is pretty much family) I am definitely not ready to know about my orientation - and she's someone my brother feels comfortable with so he might go to her (depending on his reaction) if I do tell him. She's expressed her stance on the lgbtq community and while she doesn't support it - she is willing to overlook it so long as it doesn't get shoved in her face. One of the main reasons why I feel I should come out to him is because I want to start building a pleasant and supportive relationship with my brother and this is one way to start that. I was planning on leaving coming out to him until the last person I had to tell (since I still haven't told my adopted brother or my nephew) but I'm starting to lose patience with the closet. I just want to be out the people who matter to me. Ideally I'd like to be out to everyone (ie; at work the other day the guy I work for asked me if I was going on a date that night and said all the guys in town aren't that great or whatever/assumed I am straight) but that's not a safe option right now - I need work and I cannot risk losing my job to my orientation. So yeah, that's about it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Well, if you can't trust him not to out you to people that you're not ready to be out to, I'd say it's not a good idea to tell him yet. I understand the conflict you're feeling as you become impatient with being in the closet, but it sounds like losing your job would be a worse scenario than staying closeted a while longer until you can come out to others on your own terms.
