I was invited to a coworker's house for a pre-party before going out to clubs and bars (I never planned on going to the clubs and I didn't). I'm not much into clubbing or drinking parties, but I went because I felt I should be social and get to know some coworkers. So, I already know that it's not really my thing and I think that is a slight part of the problem but I couldn't help but feel like an outsider/other. I saw several girlfriends/boyfriends, girls dressed up to meet guys, guys excited to go dancing with the girls at the clubs. I can't even describe it but maybe some people here will get what I'm saying. I felt not quite isolated, and somewhat but not quite conscious of my being different. I was the Queer. It felt thrilling and disengaging at the same time. It's strange. This isn't the first time it's happened. I've felt it before, sometimes with coworkers, other times with my (male) friends who are straight. Has anyone felt like?
Yes, I understand what you mean. I'm always an "other" since I don't have any gay friends/people in my life and it usually doesn't bother me that much since I enjoy being me and "different" I guess you could say. We are unique and fabulous. :icon_mrgr
OMG, when when I read the title of this thread I totally thought we were talking about LOST. Any, even though I'm not out, I think I get what you mean. Quite often I'm stuck with a group of guys and they're all going on and on about girls and I don't know what to say.
I have had similar situations, where it just dawns on me. Usually either in a group of people at the smoking area at work, or in social situations at parties or town or whatever, i get this feeling where everything is separate. Almost like im so apart and 'other' from these people that its like im just watching them on tv. Its a most bizarre feeling to have. The feelings usually pass, but for those 5 minutes its quite unsettling. But like you, ive never enjoyed the whole club scene, it makes no sense to me. Its hot and sweaty, the music sucks, the floor is sticky, the drinks too expensive, the people rude and clubs have that odd smell which is a mix of B.O and cheap perfume. Why people would look forward to spending their weekends crammed into a box with a hundred other people is beyond me.
I've always felt a little "separate" or even alienated from straight women, even before I knew I was gay. I didn't realize how much until I made some friends who were lesbians.
I've felt out of place and isolated my whole life. Recently I experienced the gay 'scene' for the first time, and for the first time in my life I felt like I fit in, and felt accepted. It was a liberating experience I can tell you
Given To Fly, I know exactly what you mean. I feel so comfortable in my LGBT group, it was a really good meeting this month. I was the same person when I arrived, when I was there and when I left. I even feel so comfortable with my family that I forget I'm not out to them yet. Perhaps, I always knew I was different, but after seeing how it's not always like this. Some other general comments I have are that it sometimes feels like a game to be not out. Like I'm in disguise and going under cover. I get to hear things I wouldn't hear otherwise, or at least I hope not. One coworker said something like, "Gay guys are promiscuous..." based on a story from one person who lived with one gay guy. My concern is that something like this shouldn't be a game and I sometimes treat it like it is one.
