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Friends keep trying to set me up with a girl

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by runallday4, Aug 28, 2012.

  1. runallday4

    runallday4 Guest

    Okay, so to preface this story I just want to say that I'm about to start my senior year of high school, and I'm still completely in the closet (although I'm not the most masculine person, and I'm the GSA co-president people still haven't connected the dots, I really don't know how).

    So, my problem is that my friends keep trying to get me to go out with/ hook up with this one girl, lets call her X. Me and X have become pretty good friends through out high school, and I think it's bizarre how similar we are, I think if I were straight I would probably date her, and it's no surprise that my friends want us to date. My friends who are guys keep telling to to "hook up with her" and make really dirty comments about what I should do with her, ect. and I just have to say that I'm not interested, or she's not my type, but they keep telling me to. My friends that are girls (her best friends) keep talking to me and trying to have "serious talks" with me about why I should date her (they have the same talks with her), and once again, I also tell them I'm not interested, but they keep at it. It really just makes an awkward situation, and I'm starting to feel like my best option would be to come out to them, but I don't know if this would be a good reason. I also get really nervous about coming out so it's making me extremely conflicted. Can anyone think of any other options I have?
     
  2. Gen

    Gen
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    We'll you could come out it you wish, but you dont have too. Does your friend want to go out with you? Because if you guys both teamed up you could probably convince them to stop because you guys just want ot be friends. If she is interested with you, or could be hurt by you not being interested than maybe you could just come out to her first. Than she'll know to get them to shut up.

    Our stereotypical society always assumes that they guy is ALWAYS interested. So it will be more effective if she puts her foot down than you.

    Or, you could just be a bit more blatant with you're responses. When people insinuate that I like someone I dont, my response isnt even an "Oh, we're just friends", but rather a just a sharp "Oh...no :/". Although everyone knows how open I am, so if the person found out they wouldnt take it to heart. So if you are normally not as bold, that may not go over well lol.
     
  3. Lance

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    Well, if you did come out to one or all of them, it would put an end to it pretty quick and cease future setups, lol. You're already a GSA co-president, so I'm sure it won't be too great of a shock to them.
     
  4. Nocturnal

    Nocturnal Guest

    I agree with Lance. If you tell your girl friends, or anyone at who is aware that you are GSA co-president, it wouldn't be a surprise if you came out.
     
  5. Lexington

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    If you're not ready to come out, you don't have to. Do you know X at all? Do you interact with her? If not, you might actually do that some more. Not so you can date her, but so you can say "I've hung out with X a fair amount, and I'm just not feeling anything for her. She's nice, but there's no sparks there." If they remain insistent, you can get a bit peeved. "Why is my dating lige so important to you? Why s everyone insisting I have to date her?"

    Lex
     
  6. Lewis

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    Just don't do what I do when I'm drunk, kiss girls - then when you're sober they start texting you like there's something there. Like drinking can make straight guys a little gay, drinking can make me a little bisexual. :S
     
  7. FathomFear

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    Don't come out if you're not ready to come out. Just continue being persistent with the "Not interested--thanks" response. They'll eventually get the message.

    Having said that, you did say that you're go-president of your GSA. If I were in your shoes I would try to analyze what was stopping me from taking the next step. Are you worried about how certain family members will react? Or are you just not comfortable with it yourself? You should probably address this sooner rather than later, as it's really the underlying problem here. Not the fact that your friends are trying to get you a date.
     
  8. heyou

    heyou Guest

    This.

    Thought I was the only one. :lol:
     
  9. runallday4

    runallday4 Guest

    Well, first off, me and this girl are pretty good friends, and she knows as well, although she's fairly awkward. When they bring it up she just gets embarrassed and doesn't know how to react. She tries telling them that it's not like that but they just think that she's being shy and really likes me.

    And in response to the fact that I'm GSA co-president but haven't come out yet, well, I'm not really the president because I was a heavily involved member or anything. In fact, we never even had a meeting. I'm really the president because I was good friends with the girl who was the president last year so she just made me president. No one really thought it meant anything.

    Also, I was planning on coming out soonish. I was actually going to come out to my first person, but then they went on vacation, came back for a day in which they were busy, and then went to college, so that basically ruined my plan for coming out to that person. Now I have to find a new person to come out to :frowning2:
     
  10. FathomFear

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    The first is always the hardest. I remember clearly the paranoia and fear around telling the first person. Typically speaking, though, the flood gates open after that and it becomes a thousand times easier telling everyone else.

    Only come out when you're ready, of course, but don't hesitate to put pressure on yourself to make yourself ready, as it's typically not something that will happen by itself. You won't regret it. :slight_smile: