i am not a girl

Have you considered switching schools?

"I really like it here except for the part that's making me incredibly depressed" is not actually a ringing endorsement. It would be really good if you could go to a school with an LGBT group.

It may be that you underestimate at least some of your friends. People often surprise you. When someone knows you personally, it's more likely that they will change their minds about transgender people, than that they'll change what they think about you. There's a simple reason for this: what they think about transgender people generally is based on what they've heard, what they've been told by other people, whereas knowing you is part of their direct personal experience.

But still, I think you need to get away from the environment there.

So, getting a binder and starting T are very specific goals. Instead of despairing, think of how to go about them.

Since this issue is clearly getting in the way of your education, and possibly even your survival, there is nothing more important for you to be working on right now.

What needs to happen, to make those things possible?

Feel free to send a PM to me or any staff member if you need to talk to someone privately.

 

I agree with Ianthe, I think you really need a change in environment.

I went to Catholic school for 13 years and it really did a number on me. I was just the kind of right wing, religious nut job my mother wanted me to be until I turned 18. Your school environment is huge, and you deserve one that is more accepting.

I would advise you set up a counseling appointment or doctor's appointment to discuss your options for HRT, but if you really are planning on transitioning, and you wanted to be accepted and happy, you're going to have to switch schools before the effects become terribly noticeable, and unfortunately for FtM's I have no idea what kind of time frame you'd be looking at.

I hope everything works out. Best of luck, and feel free to write on my wall if you ever want to talk (*hug*)

 

Since I don't know much about your situation, I am not sure how feasible it is for you to change school, but I have to agree with the others that you better looking for a diferent place for study. The effect of a hostile enviroment to your mental heath is huge, and it will only get worse by time. You will most likely experience depression and stress, and it might even effect your physical health. Changing your place of study is your best bet for getting help and support.

However, it might not be possible for you to change college. If this is the case, then maybe you should try to make life a little easier for you there. You can do this by:

1) Adopting an androgynous tomboyish look. It is almost like crossdressing, but it is still acceptable for society, and thus you can be a little more like yourself without people looking at you funny.

2) Try looking for friends that accept who you truly are. It will be hard,butI believe there will be one. Find some really, really, good friend that you trust and you can tell your secret to. Having someone that understand by your side, and be your allies if problems arise makes it much easier to deal with. But you have to becareful to chose the right one for your safety.

3) If possible, see if you can find a counsellor or any LGBT support group outside of school that you can go to. Spending maybe just a weekend a month being your trueself can relieve a lot of stress.

Best wishes.

 

If you want to study criminal justice that's what you should study. In my opinion if your grandma cares about you she should understand that.