I'm in love with another boy

Hi, so a few months ago (around February) I started having feelings for a boy I had known since September but who I thought was so hot last year. We sorta hanged out together since we have common friends even though I always wanted to know him better but never did because i'm soooo shy.
When I started having feelings for him I noticed some signs that he felt the same way about me but I'm not sure at all. First he told me that he noticed me last year, he never makes or laughs at jokes about me, the time we ate lunch just the 2 of us he barely did not eat anything whereas he usually eats a lot and when i asked him why, he told me he didn't know what was wrong. When finals came along he invited me over like 5 times to study even though we ended up playing call of duty, by the way he doesn't play call of duty the same way he plays with other: he doesn't yell, he lets me kill him... . However he talked about how hot Miss Universe is but that may not mean anything because he rarely talks about girls and plus as a closeted bisexual (or gay I don' know) I do too. Plus during this finals period he texted me a lot, mostly about school but still, he's shy so that may be a way to approach me I don't know. In one of his texts he discussed about jews during WW2 and talked about gays as the only other example about who got persecuted. Earlier this day, as we were watching a movie on my iPhone he moved closer to me for the reason: to make sure that I see well. As a result of that our arms were touching each other but he removed it to put it back 5 mins later, so I removed mine I don't know why shyness I guess. Then when I said I had to go get my bus he mumbled "****" and walked me there like every time I went to his house. And one time we were studying he asked me something I did not understand so I made a stange face and he impersonated it, we had a big laugh afterward and stared at each other smiling for like 6 secondes. Also the night before the first finals day he texted me "Good luck and good night, I'm going to bed". A week later he sent me "Tomorrow we have to turn our textbooks in, wanna come with me?". However he also invited other friends to come study with him but not as frequently as me. He also told me cute things about his childhod and secret things his dad said but also that he'd be gone all summer travelling to the French Riviera with his family. Late July I sent him "I miss u bro" and half an hour later he replied "Dont worry we'll see at school on first day" then a few minutes later " If u want we can meet when I get back from Europe late August" I answered yes and haven't heard from him since. So considering all I said do you think he loves me back? Thanks a lot for reading that I'm so confused I can't figure out by myself (BTW I don't know if he's straight or gay)http://emptyclosets.com/forum/images/smilies2/help.gif

 

The problem is I can't come out to him he might reject me and I couldnt take this. Plus he might not hang out with me anymore and tell everyone at school that's why i wanted to be sure he wouldnt reject me if I made a move on him.

I almost forgot, the last few days of school i caught him looking in my direction in history class but I wasn't sure if it was at me so the next day I sat in an other desk and he was still looking at me!

 

He already did in class he was chatting with another kid about how he wouldnt mind having a gay friend as long as hes not involved with him BTW I did not join the conversation because I was sleeping in my chair and he's the only one I know at school who wouldnt mind. I figured it might be a sign cuz I told another friend the same a few months earlier at the time I already thought my crush was hot but did not have feelings for him.

All summer long I re-thought a lot about what I had with him and I believed he had had feelings for me between late May and around July 10th. With this summer where I did not see him once and texted him desperatly it might have blown away those feelings.

I don't know if that matters but at school we hung out with the same group but hardly talked to each other, personally I was making the others laugh and did not give a damn about him to show him I loved him I guess but that doesnt make any sense does it? Well I made the others laugh in order to make him laugh and I think he was kinda doing the same but I m not sure. And of course we both ignored each other the whole school day and at the end of the day I would walk him home to spend time with him and I don't know if its a sign but he only talked about things I liked such as my exchange programm in France last year or Family Guy (which BTW started watching when I told him I was)...

Dating him (secretly of course) would be my dream!! and I d do anything to know if he likes boys. When we started hanging out with same friends in September I heard he broke up with his GF but I think this has noting to do with me. Well I just remembered all these facts and I wanted to share them with you. Thx a lot for reading that!!! Ure all awesome guys!!!! =)

PS dont forget to vote plz

 

If you vote plz make sure you read all I wrote not only the first post and no jokes please.
By September 10 I'll close the poll and if there's a majority of "yes" I'll make a move on him or tell him I have feelings for him, if there's a majority of "no" (that seems the most likely thing to happen) I"ll try to get over him...

 

Thx guys the next time I'll see him I'll try to bring up some gay related topics but I have no idea what kind, do you have any suggestions? What's sure is that I'm not ready at all to come out especially not to him it was hard enough with my friend I already told even though he had figured it out by himself because I was only talking about my crush. Do you think I should flirt with him? Should I also stop talking about girls too?

 

I know but I like his friendship and I could lose it by coming out to him, I'd rather flirt with him first. Sure i wanna find out if he's interested but by not risking our friendship even if he said he wouldnt mind a gay friend but that wouldnt be the same thing anymore...

---------- Post added 31st Aug 2012 at 04:53 PM ----------

You think so Salazar? Cuz that might be a friendship thing though

 

the thing is I'm scared that in these couple months he sees that I dont do anything and move on. Plus we re both seniors and I dont know if I ll see him after High School cuz he wanna go to Medical school and I dont. Plus I dont wanna wait I love him so much and I ve been wanting to do smthg for like 5 months
According to all I heard so far here's what I think: He kinda felt smthg for me bfore summer and we were both too shy to do smthg but now summer has blown away all he had for me but sadly not what I had for him...

 

I think you're right Lewissss I see what i wanna see but the time we had lunch just the 2 of us and he barely ate whereas all the other times and i mean it all of them he ate like it was his first lunch in weeks. Call me crazy (maybe LOL) but i think this had something to do with me cuz weirldy the only time he didnt eat everything he could and said didnt know what was happening was the only time we ate face to face just the 2 of us.

He doesn't talk to me at school just sometimes but we dont really talk just have common friends and personnaly i try to impress him by making other laugh with jokes that are sometimes offensive. And he tries to make the other laugh but doesn't succeed all the time and ignores me, I don't know if he's trying to impress me too or if he doesnt give a fuck about me. But I noticed some strange coincidences too like he ends up in front of me in drama class or we picked the same book for the report and have to work together...

Sometimes I feel like I'm over-analyzing all of these and he s just an open minded to gays straight guy (only one I know at school) who barely gives a damn about me and who's just incredibly kind and who invites me over to study for finals and who teaches me how to play call of duty like a pro and who doesn't act the same when they're just the 2 of us.

I'm so confused and when I am I can't text him because I'm afraid. I tried to invite him over once by text but 3 hours later he sent me "Sorry I cant tday =/" Since then I never tried again because of the fear to be rejected again.

You totally can call me crazy for this but whenever he texted me after a long time or to invite me over I would wait half an hour to content my joy and let it out to text seriously (I'm also too shy to text him smileys) and when I sent him the I miss u bro text it took him half an hour to reply, so I figured he had to content his joy too!!! Then an hour later I thought "Damn my love for him is turning me crazy".

I wanna know how it went for you "because I genuinely know how it feels"
Am I crazy?
Am I over-analyzing too much?

Please answer cuz these last few days this worryness keeps me from sleeping as you can see it's 5 in the morning and I'm on my laptop

 

A sign that might say he's straight: once we were sitting on the couch studying and i wanted to make a little move on him by touching his foot with mine as i was approaching my foot slowly, he moved away, my heart was crushed.

However on a casual day i was entering the study hall when I saw him sitting by himself whereas on of our friend was sitting in the desk right behind him alone and I was the last one of our gang who hadnt entered the classroom yet. I'm so shy I sat by the friend who was behind him.

Of all the times I went to his house, not once he showed me his room. He had showed it to many of his and our friends but not to me. WHY'S THAT? why does he hate me so much that i dont deserve to see his room? I'm trying to think i was his study buddy cuz I had awesome flashcards.
He even asked for a copy of those, in exchange he'd make a copy of his for the other class we were both taking.

PS: Consider these last facts before voting please.

 

Yesterday, a friend of mine texted me to know if I wanted to go with him getting our new textbooks, I replied yes although you know who I really wanna go with. So last evening I received a text from my crush (Finally):We leave at 11 tomorrow to get our textbooks, there'll be XXXXX too (the other friend). What does that mean? Anyway I'll keep you informed of what's happening so you can judge.