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Would you tell your seemingly uninterested crush, or forget it? Need Advice Badly

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by someone3, Aug 30, 2012.

  1. someone3

    Regular Member

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    There's this girl I'm acquainted with. I am completely infatuated with her, mostly because I truly believe we would get along great and I really think we'd be good together. We share many common interests, I find her really funny, and the quirky things about her that others might find pretty weird I am so charmed by.

    Sadly, based upon a lot of little things added up, I'm fairly certain she's not interested in me whatsoever, and I'm nearly positive that it's because I'm not good-looking enough to her.

    Oh and yes she's fully gay AND single.

    Here's my issue: I'm dying inside with despair. I'm crying nearly every day, sometimes even at work in the bathroom. The pain and the hurt and the uncertainty are eating away at me.

    I've been fighting these feeling for about 9 months now.

    I've tried to remember all the hurtful things she's done (lots of very subtle, little things) that I think she's done because she caught on I liked her. I've tried to remember these things and remember to ignore her when I see her in person. I try to remember I shouldn't like her but that doesn't work.

    So…should I tell her how I feel? It's strong feelings that I would want to tell her in a serious way, I guess. No drunk texting her (don't have her number anyway). IDK. There's implications if I tell her: all mutual friends will find out, people will look at me differently, and it's not like I can erase her from my life, I'd still have to see her at least a few times a month. At least if she doesn't know, she has no power in reality over me, or any basis to talk shit behind my back about how I like her and she rejected me.

    What would you do?

    :bang: :help: :icon_sad:
     
  2. Life Is Peachy

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    If you're sure that she doesn't like you, then I wouldn't go for it. Of course, if you go for it, you'll never know, but the way you described it made it sound like she didn't really. And if the reason she doesn't like you is because of the fact that you're not good-looking enough for her, then she's kind of shallow and why bother?

    Also, if you have really strong feelings for her, try writing it out just to vent a bit and look it over.
     
  3. TyRawr

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    Oh dear, it does sound like you have a bit of an issue.

    Perhaps look at things like this:
    If you do tell her, and you confront that fear, she can either react well and try and make something work with you, or she wont. Either way you will have closure and wont have to cry every second of the day thinking about "what could have been". Yes people might look at you differently, but for how long? Im assuming you are in high school, so let me enlighten you with some really useful information. Everybody only cares about what makes other people weak, and most vulnerable. If you are strong, and you stand up for the way you feel and dont let those people effect you, they will lose interest and move along to the next scandalous thing going around campus. YOU are your biggest problem here, but you are also the solution.

    I believe in you, and Im sending you lots of love.
     
  4. Lexington

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    I'd tell her. Or at least ask her out. Why? Because she's apparently not your friend, or nt much of one. You don't appear to have snything to lose at this point. Yeah, she'll probably give you a "yeah, no thanks", but then you'll knw for sure, and you can work n pulling away.

    Lex
     
  5. someone3

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    I didn't tell her and never will. It still hurts, but mainly because I don't know the reason why she rejected me, or why I'm not good enough to even be friends with. The pain is still there, but it's lessened and only see her once every few months or so.