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Is he ashamed to admit he is in love with me

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by loopylou, Aug 31, 2012.

  1. loopylou

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    I have been dating a guy for 8 months now. We are both straight. He seemed like he was madly in love with me until his cousin moved to live in the same country as us and made comments: "your girlfriend is fat".

    The the cousin's friends made jokes about me: calling us "the cow and the insect". Because I am fat and my boyfriend is small and thin.

    It is true that I am 10 kilos overweight. I used to be thin but I gained weight due to a horrible boss. I am now trying to lose the weight.

    One of the cousin's friends asked him when I was in the bathroom if I was the love of his life and my boyfriend replied "no". However, when we are together he tells me he really loves me, wants to marry me and have children with me and that he never met a woman that treated him so well as I do. He also said that I had a pretty face and that I will eventually loose the weight. He is now going walking with me to help me get fit.

    Do you think he was ashamed of admitting that he loved me to the cousin's friend because I am fat?
     
  2. Romi

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    There could be a lot of reasons why he told his cousin that he wasn't in love with you. He might be embarrassed, yes, but it might have nothing to do with your weight at all. He could also be ashamed of that, in which case, he needs a serious talking to. There is no reason to feel ashamed for loving someone, no matter who that person is or what they look like.

    I don't mean to pry and be too personal, but I'm also wondering how old the two of you are. In this kind of situation, age can hold a good bit of sway, whether on realizes it or not.

    But if the two of you have been together for over 8 months and this has never been an issue then his cousin's comments might have triggered something. Regardless, I think the two of you need to have a serious discussion. No whining or accusing. Just a discussion where you bring your concerns to air and everything can be sorted in a mature manner.

    Good luck darling. <3
     
  3. Rygirl

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    Hey darling, as a girl who is overweight as well I can relate to you about that. Regardless of what you look like, feel good about yourself, confidence is sexy, so work it and he will notice.

    As to your other issue, it is my experience that men have a lot more trouble admitting to things like love than women, because it's stereotyped as an effeminate emotion. He may be completely open about it when he is alone with you, but with other guys like this cousin he might be reluctant to admit it for fear of teasing about being 'whipped', or alternatively there might be peer pressure to conform to a macho image amongst them.
    Neither of these are a reflection on you or your relationship.