So, ever since I've accepted that I'm Bisexual I've started to notice A HELL OF A LOT more boys than I do girls. I'm still attracted to girls (although more boys) but only look at their faces not there bodies, and the idea of sex with a women is.....uncomfortable. To put it nicely. am i gay not bisexual? or is this just a phase? PS. do you like my new avatar?:lol:
I dont get it ( ._.) Anyway, many gay men do still find women beautiful, but have no desire to actually do anything with them. I cant decide for you, whether you are gay or bisexual, but I would say to just go with what feels right. If you only want to be with guys, than you probably are gay, but you dont have to give any definitive answers until you're ready. You're only 14, its ok to "not know".
There is no reason to feel a need to label yourself, especially at your age. Like Gen said, many gay males find women attractive in a non-sexual sort of way. Still, you have a lot of time to figure this out. no need to be in a rush =P And its also likely you could fall somewhere in between exclusive homosexual and 50/50 bi. If you aren't familiar with it you should look into the Kinsey scale.
I'd say gay, but it's really what you feel. None of us could ever tell you, no matter how much information you give us. It's got to come from within.
Its hard for anyone to label you from an outside perspective, but based on your post it seems like you could be bi leaning more towards the gay side though. J Snow mentioned the Kinsey scale and I agree that you should look into it a bit. While it isn't perfect, it does give a nice idea of how fluid sexuality can be. Overall, the kinsey scale explains that most people aren't 100% straight or gay, and that most people are bisexual, but tend to lean more towards one side than the other. Where you think you are on the scale is completely up to you. And it could also be a phase for all we know, but until then go ahead and enjoy it. There isn't anything wrong with either of the labels
Give yourself time to see where you settle. You may maintain an attraction to girls and boys (albeit maybe not equal in proportion) or you may eventually veer almost exclusively to boys. I wouldn't pressure myself to settle on a label, especially at this young age.
From the way that you describe your experience, it does seem to me like you will probably most relate to the gay identity, rather than the bisexual identity. What I mean is, when gay men talk about their experiences, you will relate to them more; you will identify more with gay characters in books or movies, rather than bisexual characters; it is in gay men that you will most see your own experience reflected back at you, and with them that you will find the greatest sense of community and belonging. If this is the case, then identifying as gay will be the most meaningful to you, and will feel the most authentic.
Hye Fruitbomb, Im 15 and the same thing as sort of happened to me. Since I have started accepting how i feel about guys but still seeing myself as attracted to girls I have seen that I notice boys/men more when out and about as if I feel i'm "allowed to now". It's a weird feeling I know and it just makes this journey even more confusing. Good luck and message me if you need to!
thanks guys(&&&)! i was planning to come out to a good friend of mine as bisexual, but it didnt feel right. i think ill have to do a big re-think before i come out now. do you think if i hold on a bit and gradually introduce the idea itll be easier? she has a gay friend already so it wont be too difficult to believe for her PS. UGH, my spelling is going down the pan!
You can definitely do it that way if you wish. It doesnt seem that she will have a problem with you from what you have described. Just dont staple yourself with labels until you are ready. Oh and you have a nice avatar ^_^
Hey Fruitbomb (love the username, btw!) First, a belated welcome to EC. Second, I think taking things a little slow makes sense. I concur with most of the others that from what you're describing, you're probably closer to the gay end of the spectrum than the bi end. But remember that it is a spectrum, and not a binary or trinary. So the labels "bi" "straight and "gay" are more for shorthand and simplicity than anything else. Lastly, my experience is that it is often much safer to first label oneself as "bi", even before coming out to anyone. In doing so, one does not have to completely let go of the identity (and for most of us, the hope) that we're straight. But then, these pesky facts, like having no interest whatsoever in the opposite sex other than a passing glance, start getting in the way of one's self-delusion, and ultimately resulting in self-identifying as gay. Of course... there are plenty of folks who are genuinely bisexual. But what you're describing doesn't sound like what that would typically look like. So... going slow, and describing yourself with a label you feel comfortable with seems like a very smart move.
Perhaps one day you will discover you're definitely gay. However, please don't label yourself and put a lid on your sexual identity just yet. I'm only 2 years older than you, but since I was 14, I've gone from straight to bi to gay to straight to gay to bi to.. And so on. See where I'm going with this? We're not fully grown yet, our hormones aren't fully developed. Maybe you are gay, but maybe you're just seeing boys more at the moment. Whether you're straight, bi, gay, or any kind of mix of the 3, they're all perfectly okay. But just take some time before you go ahead with labelling yourself. If you wanna come out to your school (assuming its not conservative/christian and you won't get lots of abuse for it, in which case wait!) then come out as bi, because that doesn't limit your options. What happens if you come out as gay and then a year later you fall in love with a girl who has settled into the idea that you're 100% homo? It creates limitations and problems. So yeah, be whoever you are. But you don't know exactly who that is yet. Have fun discovering yourself, experiment with boys and girls (unless the idea of being with a girl becomes totally repulsive to you, in which case you're most likely gay). You'll find out who you are one day, and you can fully embrace it. You can even label yourself then if you really want to! I came out as bi to my school in about February of this year, and although I don't know exactly what I am yet, I'm pretty much attracted to any gender and this was just the easiest to do. Good luck! And, remember to love yourself
you have put an answer in your own question(not comfortable in sex with women), it mean when you are think about sex men come into your mind and you really think about what you want to do with them. its purely a gay feeling.
You're gay. I could probably have sex comfortably with a girl, but I'm still gay. Not sure how that works, I just couldn't be in a relationship with a girl I guess. The only way is gay.
