I'm gonna be turning 21 in about a week, and it got me thinking about this... I've dated and fooled around with guys a few years older than me. I've always pictured myself as the young one if anything happened between me and someone. But lately, I've been wanting to find someone a few years younger than me, say about 17. I mentioned it to my counsellor and she suggests I stay with trying to find someone within my own age as some guys under 18 can still be trying to figure themselves out and are vulnerable, which I totally understand. They seem to be pretty hard to find where I live. My brother started dating his girlfriend when she was only about 16 or 17, but that's probably completely different. What do you guys think? Should I stick to finding someone my own age? Or should I try to find someone practically still in high school?
Hmmm, I get where you're coming from, but I would take the cut off as 18, particularly as around your parts, the age of majority is 21, is it not? But if you fancy something in a 'younger size' go for it, just be careful. They might still be confused.
You can go for it, but I personally would draw the line at 18. Because the possability is high that they may still have insecurities and are somewhat confused about what they want or are still in the coming out phase. I think you know, we've all been there.
I think that you can't really help who you're attracted to, but you should try and stick to dating someone your own age. That said, I also don't think you should be dating someone strictly because they are/aren't in your age range. Date someone you're interested in, and then evaluate if their age is going to be an issue shortly afterwards. I don't think it's easy (or necessarily fair) to place blanket assumptions on a whole group of guys because of their age... within reason, of course. I really should know what the age of consent is in Canada, but I don't... I want to say 16 but I feel like that's wrong. My second guess is 18. Regardless, your counsellor is totally right in that guys around that age may still very well be figuring themselves out and for lack of a better word, very vulnerable. While it's not strictly an issue of something like "you should be careful dating someone that young because they're impressionable", I would say the concern is more that if someone is in that position of uncertainty, they won't be able to contribute to a fulfilling relationship, which doesn't work for either person.
I think our age of majority in Canada is pretty close to that of the US. Also, I may have an explanation for why I've been feeling this way. As stated, I'll be turning 21 in about a week. Therefore, this is all possibly just a phase due to my birthday coming up. Didn't Blanche Devereaux go through something similar to this? HAHA
21 is sort of a magical age. Once you hit it, you should stick with that age only or above! The age 20 may be alright, but 19 is definitely not Kosher at all! My rules must be obeyed or else! :roflmao:
I echo the other posters who say 18+ is probably OK. Anything below that is not OK both for legal and, quite frankly, practical reasons. Even 3 years difference between 18 and 21 can be a lifetime for some people; one is just finishing high school, the other close to finishing college. Different values, different experience and socialization levels. An awful lot of growth happens between those years. But it can be workable depending on the person.
Is there a specific reason that you're thinking about somebody who is (say) 17? When you picture the potential relationship, what is it about that age that appeals to you? Lex
^ I don't know what it is about that age that appeals to me. Maybe it's just that I think I can help someone that age explore their sexuality. Or it just might be a phase.
As many people before me have said, make the cut off age 18-19. Most people under that age are still looking for their identity and are very vulnerable and impressionable, and somewhat naive. If you're going to be with someone, you need to be sure that they're comfortable with their sexuality and with themselves, otherwise it won't last. However, age shouldn't be an issue for you, at least not a MAJOR issue. You need to be sure that you're interested and compatible in whoever you're with, not be worried about how much older or younger they are than you. Anyway, happy hunting, and hopefully you find someone who you're happy with!
I'd say it depended on the person. I'm 17 and I'm not at all confused about my sexuality or insecure about it. However, I know others who are completely different. I'd probably advise finding someone then thinking about their age, rather than looking at age first.
In Nova Scotia, Age of Majority is 19 bud. Just saying that since most of what I would say has been said.
