"Fluctuation"...can you relate?

My attractions tend to fluctuate between being attracted to guys, girls, not interested at all, or just generally interested.

 

Sexuality, as you'll discover, and honestly already are, is fluid. For some people what they're attracted to never changes. For others...it's like dealing the flavor of the week. But there is nothing wrong with that. Happens to me, though I am always attracted to men, and I'm very picky about the women I find appealing.

 

That makes sense. I'm newly out so I don't know what my pattern will be in the future. I will say that I am nearly always attracted to masculine gender presentation regardless of sex. Generally that means cisgender men (though my attraction to them has waned over time), transgender men, and butch women. Because relatively few women are butch, the majority of people I am attracted to tend to be men.

Other bi folks I know report that they have fluctuations in how their attractions run. One woman I know pretty much lived as a lesbian for years and now almost exclusively partners with men. Other people have had the opposite happen. A couple of the bi women I know say they rarely meet a woman they don't like but it's the one in a million man that will strike their fancy.

I find the variety in sexual expression among bi folks fascinating.

 

Not really. Sometimes I switch from Bisexual to asexual, but I don't ever play favorites with the genders. Yes, I'm slightly more attracted to women, but that's always been the case. Most of my relationships have been with females, but that's only because I was unopen about my sexuality, so I just dated women to avoid further complicating things.

Coming out also seems to have awaken a homoromantic part of me that wasn't there before. For the longest time, I didn't feel that bisexual, although that was a symptom of hiding it, I think. Being ashamed of myself did cause me not to indulge on my homosexual impulses.

With that barrier gone, my attraction to men has spiked, so my sexuality has gotten balanced to an extent.

 

Yeah, this happens for me too.

 

basically this is the game of mind.you can convince your mind but not convince your heart.so i advice you think from mind and feel from heart. bisexuality is not a sin its depend on you to whom you want to spend your life.

 

Also, it could be that you're switching for other reasons. It's not necessarily due to you repressing the impulses, although in all likelihood it is. I'm just saying it may not be the case, because sexuality is something too complex to describe in under one name.

The fact that you admit to being bisexual causes me to think it's due to supressing the cravings. Despite it differing from day to day, your urges are gonna be permanent, so you'll always be attracted to men.

Nothing you can do will make it "normalize." When I hated being bisexual, I tried that and it was such a waste of time. I'd advise you to forget about that altogether, because then you'll be wasting your time, much like I did. My big regret is having this internalized biphobia and refusing to indulge in it as I could've been with some hot men :bang:

Additionally, I disproved my parent's idea of monosexuality when I hooked up with men and women. Maybe you could do that to show them they're wrong?

 

absolutely

i lean more toward women but over the past week or two i have been REALLY hanging to sleep with a guy, and haven't been thinking about girls at all. More often, it's the other way around. It definitely fluctuates.

 

Yeah!! I have ignored my attraction to some males for years before I came out as bi. There are still times when I feel like all guys are totally sexually repulsive to me, no exceptions. But then I remember that I can be attracted by some of them who are very feminine.

What settles it for me: if I CAN be attracted by a person of either gender that means I'm bisexual, that's it. If I was ever attracted by a man in addition to being very attracted by lots of women all the time, that means I'm bi.