Sooo. I think I could be trans. Feel free to argue with me cuz I don't know for sure. Okay. So. Reasons I think I am -I am enthralled by the idea of being "the woman" in the relationship. -When I fell in love, I thought about him every second, I felt a constant urge to cuddle and hug something, And I would go to sleep just about every night for a year and a half thinking about falling asleep in his arms in a need to merge with him, much like a women feeling -I discovered I liked to play with my anus before I knew I was gay. I mean, I was looking at gay porn and all that but I didn't come out yet. But I did it because I was like "man.. women can orgasm and feel awesome.. And I can't" So I looked up if there was a g spot for men, and I learned to find it. -I imagined myself as a woman, and felt some peace about it. -Today, I named myself Juliet, And I feel good about it. -Occasionally, while I masturbated, I would imagine I had a vagina, though, After I was done, I didn't really feel upset that it wasn't there, at least that I can remember Now, Here's my opposing. -I've never cross dressed, and I feel little to no urge to look like a women, maybe it ill develop over time??.. -I'm not uncomfortable or unhappy with my body or genitals, I can honestly say, I have never felt unhappy from being male. And I'm 17, I went through puberty just fine, Almost done with it. But, I remember in middle school being a tad upset my voice would crack and stuff. And acne was hell -I've never had a long standing (or any fantasies, I think) about being a women prior to this -In my sexual fantasies, I switch between being bottom and top. Or being ridden by the other person, sometimes once in a blue moon (that's today, by the way) It will be a girl. Or I will be a girl -If I was told, "your'e not allowed to crossdress, or become a women ever" and It was impossible to do so, I don't think I would be very upset by it. -The thought of transitioning holds little appeal right now, I don't think I want estrogen, And I don't think I want my genitals touched by any surgery. -I don't think I look at women jealously, I've tried making myself jealous of looks, didn't work very well. I am jealous of them competitively though, for guys. -I don't fit in with most guys, but if I choose to, I can get along with them. I have mostly girl friends Okay guys... I came out this summer. In July, I became extremely stressed about being trans, because I read about what it meant to be transgender/sexual. And I kept saying (Am I?...) for a month up until today. Causing ALOT of stress and anxiety everyday and deep depression. No matter how much I told myself I wasn't, I didn't help, I told myself I was, Named myself Juliet, and felt better for some reason. Honestly, Evidence and stuff points to me just being gay, but I don't know. I'm sick of feeling anxious over this. And saying "No I'm just gay" Doesn't cut it, It hasn't from the moment I read more deeply into being trans, and reading lots of trans peoples stories. Why not embrace it if it feels good and right, for now at least. Thanks
Well we have many transgender people on here that will probably post here. So I'll give a point of view of a non-transgender side.(Since thats all I can really speak on) Honesty, looking over the things you described it seems as though you are more a feminine man than transgender. Wanting to be the women in the relationship isnt really tired to gender. You're prefered gender isnt really in relation to your partner, but entirely to yourself. If you felt like you should be a women yourself than that would be more along the lines of transgender. For instance, I love my body completely. I would much rather be a guy than a women(No offense of course ^_^). However, I have not even the slightest desire to penetrate virtually any hole. I dont see the lure in anything considered "masculine".(Even though I work out often so I'm not tiny or anything :/). The guys I am usually into are the complete opposite of me in that sense. So, should I be put into a hetero relationship, I would be the trophy wife >_> lol. I would say that if you desire to be a women than you are probably transgender. Though if you only desire to be more of the "women" one in the relationship than you probably just prefer to be the effeminate one.
Yeah, it really doesn't sound like you are transgendered. Some of the stuff you mentioned as reasons for thinking you are, are just normal things a gay man can feel(ex. wanting to be cuddled by a guy, playing with your rear end, etc..) And your second list is more lengthy than your first one. You seem more than content with just being a regular gay male than a woman.
Thanks for your input. well, I know I said I know I am The "woman" in the relationship. But after a while, I thought It makes a lot of sense to me to just add a female body to it. I mean, I do feel female. or maybe just "feminine" But I feel like it makes more sense. I put myself into situations as a female, and they make sense to be. And it felt good to. After I came out, I felt not male or I guess "masculine" anymore... And after a while. I saw it more fitting that inside I am female than I am male. I'm trying it out for now though... I'm going with this because it feels good and better. I do realize I sound just like a gay guy though... And your thought is very interesting, how you don't want to penetrate anything. hmmm. Being as open minded as I can right now :icon_bigg ---------- Post added 1st Sep 2012 at 12:29 AM ---------- Yes, I know. But I'm saying this because I'm trying it out and it makes sense to me? I have been anxious and felt very, very sad to the point I thought of suicide about worrying if I was trans or not, I could not tell myself, "your'e just gay". My mind would not take no for an answer I guess, I know I sound crazy right now prolly. But It was HORRIBLE the past month. And yesterday and today, I imagined myself as a girl, it was comforting, and I named myself, I feel great, so much better. If I progress and like this, fine, If not, fine. I just need to figure myself out right now, and saying no to any answer makes me sick and worried that I am denying something. So I'll say yes to everything and be positive instead of getting depressed. It that wrong of me? ---------- Post added 1st Sep 2012 at 12:30 AM ---------- Oh, and Gen, I really, really, like your avatar.
Exactly, I have no problem with the general area, but when it goes down to actual "holes" it does nothing for me. So yep, I'm broken :/. Anyway, I think I know what you're saying. You're not saying I want to be a women. You're saying it makes the most sense. You dont look at your body and feel out of place, but you would feel very confrontable being refered to as a female, and probably odd being refered to as a male. It seems to me, that you are more drawn to the idea of a women than the physical aspect. You feel more at home on the feminine side of the spectrum than the masculine side, so it would be more logical if you were a women. But that is more based on logic than true feelings. I have never questioned my gender, because although I am not the fondest of being seen as a man by societies standards, I love who I am. The way I see it being a man requires only that you have something hanging down there. If you prefer feminity to masculinity, if you prefer the idea of women to the idea of men, than that is irrelevent. If you find out that you are transgender than good for you. But, dont do it because its the most logical or it makes the most sense. Being transgender should be about loving the skin that you are in, but if you love your skin now than you shouldnt change anything. Our appearance doesnt define ourselfs inside. I was just getting the feeling that I'm getting more feminine and I was like urgh , because I dont want to be a cliche (~_~). But I sill dont think of myself as any different. You shouldnt get caught up in what you "should be" or what would make sense, but when you see yourself do you see you. Do you really want to be a women, or do you just envy their ability to act the way you feel without feeling like you are "breaking the natural order" lol. And thanks. Its really growing on me ^_^
Hello again, Juliet* I believe I provided this same link to you in a previous thread, but I'm going to link it again because I truly think it could be helpful. I feel like you are still looking this from the perspective of their being only cisgender and transsexual. There are many transgender people who don't identify as transsexual and have no desire to transition into the opposite gender. http://trans-e-motion.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/transgender.jpg I'm still of the opinion that the feelings you describe seem congruent with that of a typical homosexual male, but it is possible you could still be feeling distress because you could feel more comfortable with a transgender identity that isn't necessarily transsexual. I got to transgender support group with a gender fluid individual. One day ze (I'm going to use gender neutral pronouns to refer to them) will dress masculine, go by a male name, and refer to themselves as a male. The next day they might go by their female name, wear female clothes, and refer to themselves as a girl. Does this sound like something that might express you better?
I skipped most of the replys but going by what you said I'd say you just like the feminine role. For most transgender a large part of it is 'the body. Myself for example, I HATE HATE HATE body hair, I've gone so far as to laser it all away (Nearly done). I see myself in the style and apparel of females, and am in a nonstop envy state of women. I could list many examples but the point I want to make is that I genuinely feel like something is missing from me, and in the future I'm not sure if I'll be able to live with it, so I'm being pro-active at the age of 23 now. If you are comfortable in your own skin, that rules out a lot of the mystery and uncertainty imo. Having the female mindset is fine, and maybe you are trans in your head, but if you're content then don't worry about rushing into anything to change who you are =]
