Trying to get involved in LGBT rights and getting discouraged

Wow. Stupid is I think the best word I can find for this (though I feel like it'd be funny in a really ironic way to say "that's sooooo gay!"). Sorry that you're dealing with really... silly people.

It sounds to me like you've given them more than enough chances to let you get involved. It's not like they'd have to force you to do anything; you're ready, willing, and able, but for whatever reason they don't want you. Regardless what you do next, I think it's easier to cut your losses and move on. These people are not the be-all, end-all of LGBT rights everywhere, and they certainly don't seem worth your time, to be honest. Is there a less nearby group you could get involved with? Maybe some online communities? *coughcough*

Though, I think if you're feeling hurt by what they've done, it might actually be worth it to call them on it, if you can muster up the courage to do so. Even if they're only excluding you because you're not LGBT, I can only think of the other reasons they're excluding other people; all the other people they're hurting. And you'd think an LGBT group would be inclusive too!

Otherwise, I'm not sure what exactly you're hoping to get involved with... but there's always room for you here around EC, if you'd be interested. Hang around a while, you might find you'd like it . And on that note, welcome to EC!

 

I know this is a not-uncommon problem in high school and college GLBT groups (mine was certainly no exception), but from your use of the phrase "local organization", I can only assume these are adults we're talking about... well, "adults" in the loosest meaning of the word.

In the group I was in, however, people weren't excluded because they were straight; they were excluded because the powers-that-be didn't think they fit in. Sometimes it was because everyone in the club would get uncomfortable when they showed up, or annoyed by what they said/did. Other times it was just because the person was more rambunctious or blunt than the power-that-be liked, and they thought that person might be scaring away the more timid members (that's the most charitable explanation I can come up with, any).

Maybe the organization you tried to get involved in did exclude you because you're straight. But if it's cliquey the same way the club I was involved in was, it might have been that you were excluded just because you didn't fit in.

Were you able to have any interaction with the other people in the organization before or between when they were excluding you? If not, then you're probably right, and they probably did exclude you because you're straight; what else could they have excluded you for at that point. If you did get to talk with the other people in the organization, did you feel like you got along with them? If you did, then again, they probably excluded you because you were straight. But if you didn't, it might have just been straight-up cliquey-ness that made them exclude you; you didn't fit in their clique, so they didn't like you.

If that's the case, try not to take it personally. Unfortunately, it seems that if you put a large number of queer people in a room for a long enough period of time, eventually, an alpha clique forms and scares away all the people who don't lick its boots.

Like Budder said, no matter why they did it, they don't deserve the time or dedication you could have put in. It's their loss.

 

Firstly welcome to EC and thanks for being so great in wanting to support LGBT rights!

It sounds like you've chosen the wrong group to get involved in. If they're not willing to accept help from someone who isn't LGBT, then they're not exactly doing much for LGBT people in the world. As Budder said, if you feel like calling them out, then it wouldn't be uncalled for. But it really does sound like you should leave.

Perhaps there's another LGBT group that you could get involved with around your area. There's important voluntary work for LGBT people in places like health centers as well. Here on EC we have a number of straight people as valued, respect members, and a couple on staff, so there is a place for you in the LGBT community, and you're more than welcome to stick around EC!

 

If you feel like confronting them, by all means do so. I think that ultimately people have the right to restrict membership in social groups and clubs to whomever they'd like, even if their reasons are silly or just plain counterproductive. I do, however, believe that grownups have a responsibility to be upfront about it when they do this. Being friendly on the surface and just dismissing you is childish.

I agree that you should find another group that welcomes you as an ally and find a way to contribute there. You gave them a chance, they blew it. It's their loss. I certainly wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

 

I hope you'll consider sticking around EC too. Anyone LGBT-friendly is definitely welcome here. Could never have too many friendly people willing to help out.

 

I'm so sorry that you're being treated so unfairly!! That's not good.

I had the opposite problem when I first tried to join my high school GSA. Everyone else was a year younger than me and was pretty much already in a social circle, but more amazingly--I was the only lesbian! It was mostly only gay guys and their female friends, some of whom claimed to be bisexual, but I only ever heard them talking about cute BOYS, never girls.

However, I did eventually become friends with them, though for a while I felt ostracized. I wish you luck and hope that you can find a way to be included in LGBT rights! Nobody should be excluded for silly prejudices!

 

Unfortunately, a lot of people deal with problems through polarization. They stop viewing people as being part of a collective or a spectrum and start viewing it as more of an "us" and "them" issue based on minor or even irrelevant traits - the opponent is no longer people who threaten LGBT people and their rights, it's everyone who isn't LGBT themselves. Not much you can do once they've made up their mind to play that game.