So heres my situation: About two months ago I broke up with my girlfriend. We both agreed it was for the best, but she wasn't too happy about it. We agreed to stay friends, and for a while its worked out. Fast foreward to present day and im not so sure that was the right choice. She texts me at least 10 times a day if not more. Half of them saying how much she misses me and how she'll do anything to win me back even though she knows we're through and that I have someone else at the moment. Now with anyone else it wouldn't be a problem, but her mental state is....shaky to say the least. Any advice on how I can make her see that what we were doesn't exist anymore, I don't want to hurt her more than I already have. :bang:
"Mental state is shaky" as in you think she's at risk of hurting herself or something if you cut off more ties with her? It might not feel good to hurt her, but you've gotta make it clear to her that you are not interested in a relationship with her. If you've already told her that upfront, then I don't think there's much more you can really say besides the same thing over and over until she gets it. I suppose you could "threaten" (for lack of a better term) her with the idea that if she can't learn to back off, maybe you guys can't even be friends.
Certainly doesn't sound like you made a mistake to me. Refusal to hear "no" is never a good sign. If you've already clearly told her that you aren't interested in a relationship, then you have no further obligations here. If you're still finding that she won't leave you alone, then your best option is probably just to ignore her. Stop reponding to her texts, don't pick up her calls, don't give her any attention whatsoever if you can help it. They will slow down and eventually stop. I don't think repeating yourself over and over or making threats is going to work. If she didn't hear you the first time she isn't going to hear you the twelfth time. Chances are she'll keep doing it so long as she's getting some sort of contact back from you, even if it's negative. Best bet is not to give her that contact.
THe only responsibility you have to her is to encourage her to see a counselor or therapist if she is not mentally healthy. She's manipulating you with her needy behavior into taking care of her, and it isn't good for either of you. People in this situation usually don't take well to being told (particularly if it's been previously discussed) so you may need to simply set clear boundaries... not responding to texts, and not seeing her for some period of time, or something of that nature. If you honestly believe she's at risk of harming herself then you should notify her parents or call emergency services.
Believe me I've tried to get her to see a psychologist, or even our school counselor, but she's always refused. Her parents told me they were encouraging her to see one as well, but Im not sure if its working or not.
