The past few weeks have been especially grueling with me digging further into the mystery of my sexuality. I have accepted myself as bisexual(?) leaning towards gay and I've had this urge to finally come out. First complication, I don't know what I would come out as, I don't want to say "I'm bisexual, but wait!", or "Well I know I'm not straight", or come out as gay, then fall in love with a woman making it look like I'm getting back into the closet. Second, my Dad is kind of homophobic, he rents out our other house to a gay couple (there is another thing) because they keep the house in great condition, he believes in lots of stereotypes. I think he's liberal until it comes to me. He was once reading an article in the Atlantic about transgender kids, afterwards he was saying how glad he was that I didn't do that, I was biting my cheek so hard it was bleeding. He uses words like "f-ggy" and "gay" to describe me when I'm not being tough or masculine enough. I have to sneak Vogue past him. Coming out would suck, I don't know how he would react. Third, my guy friends, all of them are pro gay rights and would accept me, but I'm afraid it will be awkward for them. Fourth, school/religion, I am starting high school at an all-boys Orthodox Jewish High-school. They're pretty liberal, but reading through the student hand-book I noticed that when they say "We accept students of all races, ethnicities, backgrounds," surprise, sur prise. Nothing said about sexual orientation. (But at least I'm going with the guy I like) So the words "I'm -" have been clawing at the inside of my chest for a while now, but every time they almost surface I beat them down. Many of you out of the closet can probably relate to at least one of these, if you can please comment. If you do I love you I love you(*hug*)
What label to come out with is usually one of those very common problems. Like you said, people usually don't want to be wrong and they want to be 100% sure of every single thing. But, lets say you come out as gay and then you magically fall in love with a woman. What would be the worst case scenario? You tell your friends that you were wrong and everything goes back to normal As for your dad, he might be a bit more liberal than you give him credit for. Do keep in mind that you don't have to come out to every single person at once, though. If you want to come out to your friends first and not your dad, then you can totally do that. Only do it when you feel comfortable and safe. As far as your friends go, if you know that they are pro gay rights, I would give your closest friend a chance. After that one friend you can see if you want to tell everyone else. Your school might be a problem in the future, but lets not worry about just now. One step at a time! And most important of all, keep in mind that there is no race in coming out. Do it when you feel comfortable and when you feel safe. Don't feel like you must come out right now if you don't feel ready
