Please read all of this or as much as you can before replying. Thanks so much! Also this post is a bit NSFW (I guess the website is as well, anyway be forewarned) and there is a bit of mature language. Ok, I am 24 I have always had relationships and sex with men. I have always had crushes on men and sometimes women. I am somewhat uncomfortable with being sexual I have masturbated very rarely. When I do masturbate I generally do not use a stimulus I just do it. I find it very hard to orgasm with being with someone else. I have never orgasmed through vaginal intercourse, only from oral or hands. So, what brings me to this site. I have a crush on a female coworker. I have fantasied about her a bit and think I want to date her. Now, that I am considering my sexuality I am starting to wonder if I have always been gay or bi. I have had crushes on many women, but I never let myself act on them so I do not know whether or not they had a sexual component. I think that is basically it. I look forward to your comments and feel free to ask any questions. Thanks so much!
Welcome to EC! Its very hard for someone else to try and label you, but based on your post it sounds like you have always been bi and you are starting to accept your attraction towards woman.
Sometimes the only way to know is to give yourself permission to try. I don't think it's necessary to have sex with someone to know if you're gay. What i mean is that you need to let yourself relax enough and be open enough to the idea that you're gay that you don't throw up all kinds of mental barriers. Accept that you might be - and see how you feel. If you're thinking you'd like to date this woman at work, go for it. You don't need to be gay or bi or anything else to date someone you like. You just need to like them.
Sometimes its really helpful to let yourself be 'gay for the day' and see how it feels. Just let yourself think gay thoughts and check out girls. Try not to think about it too much just go with the flow.
Thanks so much for all the responses! TheEdend your response is quite logical, I think that is the most probable possibility. It makes a lot of sense. Jim1454 I have been trying to accept myself. It is not as easy as I thought it would be. But, the fact that I can admit to myself that I like this woman and not just as a friend seems to be a big step. I will try to date her. I am trying to figure out if she is giving me any signals before I go for it. silverhalo thanks for the suggestion, I will try that tomorrow and let myself be ok with it. GirlNextDoor I will try to not judge my actions or thoughts. Thanks for all the advice it was super helpful.
It might be useful to discuss such topics as, women's liberation, abusive men in relationships, the difficulty women should have being required to uphold congical responsibilities in such a relationships, and the basic insensitivities of men, as compared to women. Try to get the topic to hinge around sex and women knowing more about women, than selfish men do. Make a statement something like... "Sometimes men piss you off so much they make you wonder about what it would be like to actually be with a woman for a change!" - Then watch her reaction. Try to observe her pupils widen or dilate... If they do, most likely you're in! I would still allow her to give more positive clues, before making any moves, though...
I'd say test the waters. Maybe start with some friendly overtures and see where it goes. If you are that strongly attracted to her, you may very well be gay or bisexual. Getting repeated, durable crushes on women is why I reevaluated my take on my own sexuality. Looking back on my life, I am beginning to realize that my attraction to certain women is not entirely new but certain factors such as religious background and social expectations meant that I never really entertained those thoughts. Maybe you have some mental blocks that hold you back as well. Sometimes giving ourselves permission and being ok with the outcome is the first step to figuring out who we really are and what we really want. Good luck!
