Ok! I am really excited! There is a guy at university that I really like. I think he is very handsome and hot. However, I have never spoken to him. I don't know a thing about him. Under the typical circumstances, I would just check him out whenever he passed by and that would be all. But today, as I was passing by him and I was checking him out, he actually noticed that I was looking at him. At that moment, I was looking at his face (which is very hot!), so I don't think he realised I was actually sexually looking. Again, that would have been no big deal and I would look away, but for some reason I didn't look away and NOR did he. After a couple of seconds I turn my attention elsewhere, because I had to walk on and not crash into a wall (...), but also because I haven't come out to people at university and it would raise suspicion if I kept staring. Anyway, even after all these, I would still pretend to myself that nothing worth of considering had happened. But just 10-20 minutes later, I passed by him again (I was just walking around with a friend and he was sitting at the same place). I looked at him and he looked at me again! We kept staring again as I was walking by, then turned away to avoid suspicion (I had to turn my head around too much to keep on looking). But, before going to far away, I discretely turned around too look if he was still watching me, and he was! I am really puzzled! This has never happened to me before! I would really like to find out whether he is gay or not, but as I said, I haven't come out to anyone at university... More importantly, I haven't come out to anyone of my friends there. Whenever I am there I hang out with them, so I can't do anything with the hotty without them noticing. I was planning to come out to them after having a homosexual relationship (I haven't even kissed a guy (nor a girl)) so that I will have confirmed my homosexuality. (you know, telling them I am gay and then not being 100% sure about it might be troublesome...) This guy, however, would be the greatest chance for me to confirm. So what do I do?! I seriously want to find out if the gorgeous dude is gay, but I don't want to be uncovered because I don't feel ready about it and because it might be sudden to my friends and create friction... And I definitely won't go up to the hotty and ask him, straightforwardly or not, if he is gay. How could I do this? By the way, don't laugh at me if I really sound like a freaked out, 13 year old, little girl that just met a dreeeeeeeeeeeeeamy boy. I have never felt this way before. My blood pressure is a bit high XD. And whenever I wanted to refer to the dude and type guy, I typed gay, so I started using other words. I so desperately want him to be gay. I am so excited that, if my grandma wasn't home, I would be giggling all afternoon... In addition, as I have never spoken to him, I am pretty much afraid that when I do, he will just open up his mouth and I will realise what a blockhead he is by the stupidities he will let out. I hope this won't turn into a total letdown. So, can anyone help me? Is he gay or was he just spooked by the staring weirdo? How will I find out? And is what I am going through what people call a crush? (In addition, is my english good? I am trying hard to perfect them in every aspect)
I'm not sure how much advice I can give, but after reading this, the first thing that came to my mind was: Facebook stalk him! Other than that, finding out might be difficult. You could try bumping into him and introducing yourself, then casually dropping a few references to past girlfriends that he may have had. Maybe he'll correct you and say, "Actually, my last boyfriend... etc." Yes, I'd definitely call this a "crush". And well done, your English is fantastic.
How does he look at you? It is just with a blank expression? The best advice I can give you is to just start subtely flirting with him. SMILIE at him when you exchange glances. And not in a goofy "I'm in love with you, come plant a big one on my lips" smilie...just a casual friendly, hey sup smile. If that makes ANY sense. Then see how he responds. Other than that, I don't think there's much you can do unless you share classes with him or somehow get into a situation where you can start a conversation naturally. Maybe you can try to "accidentally" end up next to him in the library or wherever and pretend you don't notice him.
Oh, the power of eye contact. There is nothing more telling. If he keeps holding eye contact with you, you can safely approach him. Whether he's interested in you like that or not, he's interested in you for something. Observe your feelings. Do they seem like feelings a straight guy would be having? Having sex will not tell you anything more than you can learn just by paying attention to your feelings right now. I think you have plenty of "confirmation." This is definitely a crush. Don't ask if he is gay, definitely not first thing. Just go politely introduce yourself and chat about something inconsequential.
@psychedelic I was thinking the same thing about facebook, but the truth is harsh. Don't get shocked... I don't have a facebook account!... I never felt like having one and I know later won't so too, but at this moment I deeply regret... Well, I don't know... How could I bring up a subject like girlfriends without making it too obvious? @force and verve It makes perfect sense! I can smile good! I will start doing that as soon as possible! His look wasn't blank, but I didn't spot any curiosity either. That's what bothers me most about him. But I see both of you said about the "accidental" factor. I am no good at that... Oh, this is so funny! I feel so silly, but full of energy! I would love to make a fool out of myself and maybe my friends to see me. It's such a pity I can't do that. :/ @Ianthe I know I am gay, but I find it much easier to come out to people when you have a full proof. Proof not so much for me, but them. If your argument is just a crush, it's not very convincing.
Who cares if you are obvious? It's not like you are risking an important friendship or something. You can just be obviously interested. He will either also be interested, or not. Then you will know one way or the other, and will be able to stop obsessing. ---------- Post added 3rd Sep 2012 at 11:41 AM ---------- If you were to tell them about your crush like you talk about it on here, I think they would find that plenty convincing. Are you kidding? Also, I have never been asked for "proof." People assume that if I'm taking the step of coming out to them, I must be sure.
I recommend this. It's what I do whenever I'm around strangers or enter a room. I smile and make eye contact. If I'm passing them I give a slight nod of my head, or say something appropriate to the situation. You can judge a lot by peoples immediate reactions. Smiling puts people at ease, and if you say something then it breaks the ice. Even if all you do is smile and nod every time you pass him, then it'll make speaking to him much easier when you get the chance, because he's going to think, "Oh wow. It's that guy whose always nice to me in the hallway." People like to be acknowledged. It's a sign of respect. Something else you can do is come out to one of your female friends who you believe is going to be open and accepting. Honestly, it helps to have someone you can dish about this stuff with, but more importantly you can use her as a spy or wing woman if needed. You can send her in undercover to meet the guy, flirt with him, and see if she can pry some information out of him through being slightly forward. If he's all like, "Sorry, I'm gay." Then that opens up the perfect opportunity for her to introduce you to him - the nice guy he always sees on the way to class. Also, watch who he hangs around with - see who might be one of his friends. Then befriend them. That will give you a good excuse to get close through having a mutual friend. This has been Aldrick's Guide to Stalking 101. :lol:
