Me again, I don’t know what’s this 4th thread in 4 day? Well I am starting to annoy myself already for writing these but I finally think I know where I stand with X. Up until now I was rather confused on what he feels towards me because he (in order in which it happened) read his poems to me, talked about his feelings with me, kissed me, told me he was crying, kind of forced me to hold his hand, called me to hug him, (which would lead to kiss if we were alone) told me he was bisexual (he was kind of forced to do so (no by me though) and leaned towards me when silence came up in between previously stated activities. I liked him for a long time and when those events started to occur my hopes got insanely up and you can see why. I know and knew the entire time that he likes this Y girl however only today did he tell me how much. Basically he told her that if he could choose between world and her he would chose her (not the exact words, I had to translate it so parts might have gotten lost). Y thinks of him as friend and X knows it, yet refuses to accept. He listens to HIM (they have some really touchy love songs) through the entire day. I realized that he, even if he has feelings for me, prefers her by far much. Once he asked me (while being wasted drunk) “how drunk am I on scale from one to I’m an idiot?” on which I told him “you’re an idiot- 1” and after a long pause added “but your my idiot”. I was just joking, however that changed his facial expression to deadly serious and he said in firm voice “no”. That was all. So yea I know that he likes her, really much, and I would be glad if they did get together however I’m uncomfortable with the way the things are between us right now. And by that I mean, what is going on between us anyway? Does he like me yet choses her over me because he is still in denial of his sexuality (2 weeks have passed since he kissed me and 4 days have passed since he told me he was Bi, so it is reasonable if he still questions himself.) ? Or is he just using me as replacement for her with no serious intentions? Which one it is killing me right now. I can’t sleep because I think of him and when I do fall asleep I dream him. I think of this throughout the entire day, every moment awake and it’s slowly killing me. I can’t concentrate on anything; even leading a conversation with anyone is hard now. Also I can’t shake the feeling that I’m just some sort of emotional tool for him even though that’s just possibility. I know that I should just ask him on what he feels however I really hate doing stuff like that over the internet and would like it to happen in real life yet it is soooo hard to get to chat with him alone. Even when I do get the opportunity I freeze. Anyway what do you think is going on here and wat is the best thing to do? Also he constantly brings Y up in chat. I do not mind it and I really would like to give him advice about it however I never can find a word to say. I mean to continue supporting him about her no matter what. Any ideas on how could I help him? What can I say to him in those situations? Thank you for reading another long post of mine. I actually intended to keep this one short but I just feel that a lot of info is needed. If I hadn’t given as much I would be in doubt in every answer I get because I would think that lack of info made it impossible to understand the situation. Also sorry for spamming on support and advice section here however the situation keeps on changing and I alone am unable to follow it.
i think he really likes the y girl more, because from a fact that he get's upset. and your caught in the middle of becoming the third wheeler seems like you like him as much as he likes her not mean to be a big meanie but i think you should let go of him cos the more you get close to him the more you might hurt yourself from being in the middle of the two of them, you should move on from him it's not really healthy that you're even close with your ex bf i find it a bit odd.
It's possible that he was experimenting with you, or unclear on his feelings for Y and you but now he's settled on Y, or something like that. I think that you should really try to get him to clarify himself. Would it be easier for you if you just say something like "Are you sure that she's the one for you and that you want no one else?" because that way you're not specifically mentioning yourself.
This^ Love triangles. Only one point not connected yet. You are crazy over him , He is crazy over her. match. sounds like you two are emotional twins. sorreey I can't help saying it :eusa_doh:
Oops my bad, but either way your just gonna hurt yourself connecting yourself to this love triangle, and supporting him through it. Makes it sadder because even if you support him through his decisions, you can't help but feel emotional because you still have feelings for him.
I think he sounds pretty confused. some part of it might be due to having several different feelings that go in different directions and not really knowing what to do about it. So he might really be interested in that girl Y, yet also curious to see what could come of his bisexual feelings, and at the same time also worrying if anything of that is even going somewhere. It's really impossible to say if he has some romantic feelings towards you, but even if he has, it's probably one more set of feelings in there that's complicating things for him. And if you're someone who listens easily, and doesn't judge him for whatever he lays on you, you're just the natural person to lean on. Leaning on friends for support is not really the same as "using someone", I'd say. Especially since he doesn't seem to know just how hard this is on you. Reaching out for support is just what friends do, sometimes. I do think that it could be best to just put the cards on the table, here. Knowing where you stand might at least clear up some of the whole confusion. Plus, it would clarify any reaxtion you could have to whatever he tells you. Essentially, what you need to say is "I really do want to be there to support you in all of this confusion, but I do also have to confess that I have some intense feelings for you. Feelings that will take some time to get over. So I'm not going to be able to give a really neutral opinion. So while I'm here to talk, don't feel odd if I sometimes feel a bit distant or upset too." It's perfectly OK if you do that over internet chat, by the way. The important thing is that you get it out there, and not keep it as this big secret that weighs on you every moment. whatever the outcome, it's going to be better than this whole "what if" and "what did he mean?" you're going through now. Plus, it makes him able to see any advice or opinion you have in the correct lighting. Also, it gives you the perfect reason to distance yourself a bit, if those feelings you have for him get a bit too tough to bear. Last but not least: (*hug*) Confusing crushes do suck. But as hard as it seems now, they all pass in the end, and quite often it doesn't even hurt the friendship in the long run.
