A couple of months ago I made myself a more positive person. Before I had been really unhappy and I would let little things get me down so easily but after I changed my attitude I felt so much better and the little things didnt bother me and I didnt feel to bad about the big things. But that has wore off and the past week especially, I've had this feeling of sadness hang over me. And now I get really bothered by the things that used to piss me off. At work I feel so uninterested and unmotivated but when I'm off I never know what to do and I'm so bored. I exercise and go to yoga classes (but it's been off for the month of august so i havent been since july) do yoga at home, meditate and i still feel shit and bored. What bothers me overall is my sexuality. Ive felt shit about it since I found out I was gay 5 years ago. I've bounced from 1 serious crush to the other and it just makes me feel sad and lonely and desperate (I know that's a turn-off) for a boyfriend but at the same time I haven't came out because i feel so uncomfortable talking about my sexuality. Since I got my 1st real job almost a year ago my life has changed so much for the better. Having a job for 1 lol. But I have made such good friends there and the 2 Im closest to are guys my own age which is so good because I get pissed off that I was the gay guy that could only befriend girls. Also i have develloped a social life. But I feel like I should have more than just my work friends. I wont see my college friends anymore and that's all I have. The yoga class I go to is full of older people and no disrespect i dont see me socialising with them. sorry if this sounds like pathetic high school stuff because ive seen the real problems people have shared here but i still feel a bit shit.
You may have heard that, when an action is repeated for some time, it becomes a practice and more longer it continues it becomes a habit, same said to happen with our pattern of thinking. when someone start to think in a pessimistic way and if s/he let it flaw without interfere, it gradually can become how s/he generally think about everything/some area. If practice results that, to break that same pattern, you can use the same method, i.e. practice the opposite action.So start to think in a optimistic way. There's a method used in positive thinking( only my general knowledge, I think I've seen this in Napolian Hill's books) it is based on a theory that, to make a new habit, minimum time that needed is 21 days along. IDK it's reality, but theoretically when needed to break a pattern or practice a new or forgotten habit, the first step is, do it once and then try again and again reducing the time in between or/and increasing the number that happens. Don't have to worry about failures. Every time you were able to do it, is a practice and help to break the pattern.