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i think i just outed myself at work..what am i gonna do???

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by queenofhearts, Sep 4, 2012.

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  1. queenofhearts

    queenofhearts
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    so heres what happened...i just started at my current job a few months ago..and i love it..and so far ive gotten along with my coworkers...there are only 6 of us working there so its a small group

    and one of my coworkers i seem to get along with pretty well mentioned that she has a friend whose a lesbian..and i said thats cool..and i talked about my family (i have a few gay family members)...so that was all fine and dandy..but her friend came in one day...and i recognized her from a dating site that i am on...so i kind of freaked out a bit..but got over it pretty quickly thinking what are the chances that she recognizes me

    well about a week later..i worked with the girl again..and it was just me and her working...and she was dropping hints all day...so either all the things she had said to me were a huge coincidence..or she was trying to get me to come out....either way im freaking out..she has to know..and i dont have an issue with her knowing..its the rest of them...they are all really nice..but they are also all girls and seem like the type of girls that wouldnt be exposed to gay people ...and me being the new girl im already having issues fitting in...so idk what im gonna do about all this..is there anything i really can do?
     
    #1 queenofhearts, Sep 4, 2012
  2. Jim1454

    Jim1454
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    If you think she knows, then she probably knows. If you dont' come out to her, then she should respect that and drop the topic. If you do come out to her, she should respect your desire to keep it to herself.

    Personally, I'd come out if I were you. The longer you leave it, the more awkward it will be to come out later.
     
    #2 Jim1454, Sep 4, 2012
  3. smprob

    smprob
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    yep I read today "confidence is the key", I guess I agree i.e. in anything.
    If it has happened, it has. I think you should consider that girl's attitude when deciding whatever to do. If she is so sure about you, what would she do if you deny, or if you ignore her hints, and also are considering to come out at your working place later, or even this didn't happen or you never come out, won't they be able to find out about you another time. What are the issues you will have other than they wouldn't accept you. like that.

    Personally I think if she has a gay friend and if she welcomes her at her working place and even hints about her to you, why should you worry about her knowledge so much. If she tells others, she has to tell them how she find out it (or lie?). If she's OK with having a her friend why should she treat you differently. It could be applied to others too if they already know it. IDK hope this helps to decide.
     
    #3 smprob, Sep 4, 2012
  4. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Well, she didn't confront you directly, and, very importantly, she made these hints when you were working alone together. Not in front of other people. So, it sounds like she's pretty sensitive to the issue. I think you can tell her without worrying that she will out you.

    She might introduce you to her friend, though. Which would probably be a good thing--it would be good for you to have a gay friend, anyway.

    Are you attracted to her friend? I assume you've actually looked at her profile a bit, that you recognize her. Or is she just really distinct looking?
     
    #4 Ianthe, Sep 4, 2012
  5. queenofhearts

    queenofhearts
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    im not gonna lie her friend is cute...however...the fact that i recognized her was more that she had distinct features..i never wanted to pursue her...and yeah honestly i think she would be ok with it...shes seems like shes fine with lesbians and such...its just the fact that im new and if the others find out...those are my 2 big issues..i dont want to give them a reason not to like me...when im already the new girl
     
    #5 queenofhearts, Sep 4, 2012
  6. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    So don't come out to them yet, just come out to her. She really seems like she'll be willing to keep it to herself.
     
    #6 Ianthe, Sep 4, 2012
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