I really need help

Hi there Myra!

First of all, no matter what you might think certain other people may think of you, you are still a person of value. Nobody's life is more important than that of your own. We here at EC love people like you, because you remind us all about who we are and why we're here! We need you and people like you!

Nobody has a monopoly on the truth and nobody is in possession of some type of moral standard of the right and wrong sexual orientation, or the right and wrong gender identity. Even Christians argue amongst themselves about the rights and wrongs of the bible. The Moslems do the same thing! Nobody has all the right answers or draws all of the right conclusions. We're all basically just stuck here on this spinning rock trying to eek out and existence, while we struggle to figure as many things out as we possibly can through mathematics and science. However, with that said, science abhors morality and is completely unrelated. However, you can use the technology that's derived from science to correct your little problem.

Therefore, the only thing you should be concerned about insofar as your own person is concerned, is your own person. Your own happiness! Nobody can be happy or sad for you! Only you can experience your own emotions. That's only because you and you alone know how you feel deep down inside. It's because of those feelings that you are able to derive both pleasure and sadness. You know that your body doesn't suit your true feelings or personality, nobody else does. You know how being admired by girls makes you feel, nobody else does.

Only you hold the correct solution to solve your problems. They answer lies in your heart of hearts and has been awaiting your dreams to made manifest, as soon as possible. You're 18 yrs. old and a high school graduate (congratulations BTW). If I were you, if I didn't have any financial means, I'd make arrangements to join either the Navy or the Air Force. I wouldn't sign anything with them until after coming out to my grandmother. If she accepts you and wants to continue to assist you, then just tell her that you need to switch to another university. OTOH, if she disowns you and abandons you, then just sign on that dotted line and see the world!

Otherwise, if there's anyway at all to transfer to another university without coming out, then just do that! Most of your time will be spent away at college anyway. I personally, wouldn't come out until I had some kinda gainful employment. At your age, you might desperately need family financial support, from time to time...

Just something to think about

PS.

Just because they might have a feeling of disappointment, that doesn't mean they should feel that way. Rapist feel disappointed when they don't succeed at molesting their next intended victim...So what?..Disappointment is just a passing feeling that they'll soon get over. Instead, your relatives should be proud of the high school graduate in their family who has set greater heights in becoming a college graduate, as well. A person who is in the process of defining just who they are and what they represent. Something that many people never do!

 

Aww, I'm sorry that you feel like you're a disappointment because you're not. I know how it feels to want to run away, but you have to confront your fears, unless you're putting yourself in danger by doing so. I recently helped my best friend come out to her father and I came out to him as well. We had a very long interesting conversation and while he doesn't agree with it because of his religious beliefs, he's okay with it.

There's really no easy way to tell someone that you're LGBT. You could ask her who is she voting for in the upcoming election just to get an idea of her views on the subject. Then try explaining to her what it means to be trans. I'm not of much help, but hang in there. I'm sure there are more people here on EC who have first hand experience when coming out as trans.