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Anxiety Medication and realizing you are gay

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by unicorn14, Sep 4, 2012.

  1. unicorn14

    Regular Member

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    Just a random thought I was curious about mostly as applied to my case....


    So I've had anxiety since college, no particular reason just had it, bad. I met my boyfriend on 7 years and it got a little better but in the past year it's worsened again.

    As of January I had been on the medication for a good 8 months and felt amazing, which is when I ended up cheating with a girl, the first girl I ever kissed. So from there I start really feeling things for women.

    Long story short after breaking up with my boyfriend and moving on with my now GF, I felt so great I decided to ween off the medication. Up until weening off the whole being with a girl thing wasn't a major issue, I was happy, no anxiety concerns.

    Now that it's been a month or so my anxiety is coming back and my feelings are changing to wear the potentially being gay thing is NOT ok with me and I'm fighting it big time.

    Could my anxiety have been my way of repressing being gay and using medication helping that surface? Then now as I'm not on it, I feel like I'm trying to repress it again but I can't now b/c I know it's there now.

    Make sense? Any thoughts, just wondering if this could be something to explore.
     
  2. justinf

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    I'm not completely sure, but I think you might at least partly be right. I don't think anxiety is really a way of repressing being gay though, but more you're reaction to realizing you are gay. The meds repress the anxiety, thereby getting rid of the most negative feelings associated with being gay. I don't know if that makes sense, I'm not sure how to explain how I experience it.

    I am on meds for my anxiety because of the whole gay thing right now, and it goes fairly well. Not perfect, but alright. The moment I stop though, it takes about two weeks before I freaking lose my mind and go completely crazy. Over all kinds of stuff, and especially over being gay. The same thing happened years ago when I was on anxiety meds for whole other issues, and it repeats itself now.

    I also think that the more you use the medication, the worse your reaction gets when you stop using them, because you're not really working on the issue; you're suppressing them. So I guess, at least the way I see it, for me, it's not the anxiety that is a way of repressing that you're gay; it is actually using the meds that is a way of repressing being gay, or at least really realizing it and dealing with the feelings that come with that.

    I don't know if any of that makes sense, I'm just trying to get across what I feel when it comes to anxiety and meds. Hope that at least helped a bit :lol:
     
    #2 justinf, Sep 4, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2012