Okay, so to make a long backstory short, I came out to my best friend (who's supposedly straight) about a week ago, and he was completely okay with it, which I expected since he's really liberal and supportive of gays. It was still incredibly nerve wracking though lol. Anyway, he hasn't been treating me any differently or acting any differently, except for the fact that he has all of the sudden started talking about girls incessantly, which surprised me. He didn't talk about girls all that often before, and I was expecting him to just stop talking about them altogether, not talk about them like there's no tomorrow. What are your thoughts on this? It confuses me. My main question though is why he's always playing games with me. Here are two examples of him screwing around with me: The first one took place before he knew I was gay and the second one after. Him: I'm leaving wednesday morning. No bonefish sry. (like a week earlier we planned on going to bonefish grill and then going to see the dark knight rises and he sent me this out of nowhere on Monday) Me: where are you going? Him: mountains Me: how long? Him: week and a half Me: mmmk. We'll do bonefish and dark knight when you get back Him: k 30 minutes later Him: I lied I'm coming back on Monday Me: son of a b*tch . here I was thinking you'd be gone for a whole week and a half (btw he had been at camp for the past month and just got back so we hadn't hung out in a while) Him: sorryyyyyyyyy And here's the second one: Him: me and my family are looking at houses o.o Me: like to buy? Him: yep Me: where are you looking? Me: and why would you be moving? An hour later... Him: its not for us its for grandparents Me: ok. Scared me for a minute Him: on purpose Me: you love f*cking with me lol Him: ha yep Me: and I take it that's why you waited like an hour to respond? Him: yep I just don't get it. He's always been really playful around me and he's flirty when texting, and I just figured some straight guys are like that. But I don't understand why he's always playing games with me. What do you guys think of it?
Well, he's talking about girls more because he wants to be sure you know he's straight, so as to avoid awkward confusion. Tell him, "Dude, I get it, you're straight. But talking about girls is kinda boring for me, can we change the subject?" Or just let him. As for the rest of it, it seems like he just likes likes messing with you. Is that new? EDIT: Oh, and welcome to Empty Closets!
The thing is, I've already told him a couple times that I know he's straight. When I came out to him I told him that I realize he's straight and I'm not going to come on to him or anything and that I'll respect his boundaries. I think I might bring it up again and see if he starts acting differently after that. And it doesn't bother me at all that he talks about girls, it confuses me why he talks about them so often now.
Oh. Then you don't need to say anything. He talks about them to affirm his straightness. Possibly to himself. But you don't need to go to the "is he gay" place in your mind, no good will come of it.
You can always pull out the "does she have a brother?" line each time he does it if you're getting tired of that topic. Lex
I just started to get off of the "is he gay" path and I'm trying so hard to not get back on, but I just can't help but wonder why he's so flirty and playful around me. I've never had a guy friend act the way he does. And what you said about him affirming his straightness makes sense to me, but it confuses me at the same time because I wouldn't expect him to continue to be flirty and playful if he's trying to act really straight. And yes, I know I over-analyze the sh*t out of everything.
