I suppose this is a rant more than anything, but I'm just so fed up of hiding who I am around my family, having to hide a gay magazine and read it private so they dont find out and ask questions . Seeing a fit female on tv or on the street and hiding my reaction from them is becoming more and more tiresome. Keeping the impressions up that I'm not Gay by saying how fit a boy is , when I'm not remotely thinking that, going along with it all and u might say why don't i just come out to them but I'm so scared and I just know they will take it the wrong way as may whole family is old school, when i was in a play once playing someone in love my on stage boyfriend was played by a girl as we were short on boys , we had to kiss a lot , they knew I had to kiss someone and assumed it was a boy so winded me up for ages once they had seen my play they didn't mention the kisses like they hadnt been winding me up about them . They. Also didn't mention my on screen boyfiend or anything to do with it. Like it was something that was wrong and embarrassing and never should be spoke of. They also have.spoke of their dislike. So im caught in.the middle of it all and I hate it , I cant see how this is gonna get better only worse. Ii feel just like giving up and doing stuff that I regret if I get throw it . If u read this all I'm surprised and if u care enough to comennt u must bee crazy cause know body cares
I do care, and I know exactly how you feel. (*hug*) Homophobic parents really suck. But you have to keep going. I personally had a few breakdowns from hiding from my family and I had to keep quiet about it too. My way of coping was talking (on Facebook) to my friends and trying to put what I was feeling into words. I don't know how out you are, but for me, my close friends helped me get through it. Once you move out, things will get better. No more hiding. Now, I'm not telling you to come out to friends or family. That's your decision. What I'm telling you is that you should talk to someone, anyone (even us here :smilewave) about what you're thinking and feeling. A little support can go a long way.
Well 2 of my friends know but this is not something I can talk through with them . As to what I'm thinking and feeling . I feel like giving up just ending it all cause this sucks I just feel so alone stranded on a island. I hate my self , and just want my parents not to be homophobic but Thats not gonna happen . I just want to be me u know ? And have people that understand and I can talk freely with , with out worrying .
I know you just want to be yourself. Why can't you talk about this with your friends? I mean, since they are your friends, they should care about you and what goes on in your mind. I've found that face to face talking helps much more than text. Try to build up a support network for yourself. Find some people who you can lean on when the time comes.
What do you mean no one cares? If you're posting on this site, you know you're gonna find people that care! We all care! I know how hard it can be to hide it. I still have to hide the fact that I'm bi from some people. It's tough. It really is. And it was even tougher before I came out. But just remember that you always have people to talk to on here. I agree with dragon567, though. If those people are your friends, I would recommend talking to them. I found, and still find, my friends to be a major source of comfort. If you talk to them, I'm sure you can talk freely around them and be yourself! I know it can be extremely scary to be attracted to the same gender, but you'll get through it! I promise! And you wanna know what, I came out to homophobic parents. My father was especially homophobic, but you'd be surprised at how people's opinions change when one of their own children ends up being gay, lesbian, bi, or trans. My parents were extremely accepting. They don't treat me any differently. I'm not telling you to tell your parents right away, but I would at some point, when you feel ready. Just remember, talk to your friends, and talk to us here on EC when you have stuff you don't wanna discuss with friends. Just keep fighting and make it through life!
Dragon 567 , Why can't you talk about this with your friends? I suppose I think that they won't understand and will have the answer of just tell them then. Talis luver what do I mean know one cares ? I just feel so alone. That's why I put that. All my friends are straight , it is relaxing that a friend of mine knows , so when with her I can just be me . She is a gem but I just don't see her that much and will see her less now she's going to uni along with my other friend that knows. But ill try and keep fighting , thanks
