Okay so a year or so ago, I thought I was pansexual. But now, after learning more and finding more terms for stuff, I don't know if I actually or not. I found the term "demisexual" and it's when someone isn't sexually attracted to a person until they get an emotional/romantic connection with that person, there's no sexual desire just from looking at the person's physical features, but rather their personality and their connection. And I really think that fits me well. Because I've only ever really been sexually attracted to a few people, people I fell in love with and got really close to. And again, it was a very small number. Two or three to be exact. Anyway, I think I can identify well with demisexual. But the thing I'm confused about is the fact that I can still look at people (girls, guys, etc) and think that they're attractive. I'm biologically a female, but I can look at another female and be like wow, she's hot! But I don't really wanna do anything with her, I just find her attractive. Because for me, I need to really be close and connected to the person I have sex with. So does this really make me a demisexual? And if so, what is that extra thing I just said about, about still finding multiple genders attractive, but not wanting to have sex with them? Is there a specific word for that, or a better word than demisexual, or does that not even matter at all?
Hi hun. I can't help much except to offer this bit of information: According to one hypothetical model, a person who identifies as a demisexual does not experience primary sexual attraction but does experience secondary sexual attraction. In this model, primary sexual attraction is based on outward qualities such as a person's looks, clothes, or personality while secondary sexual attraction is attraction stemming from a connection, usually romantic, or from status or how closely the person is in relationship to the other. Does that remind you of your attraction? Sorry, wish I could help more but I hardly know anything about Demisexuality.
