Dating Someone with a Different Orientation...

Since you don't have your age, I'm going to assume you're both in high school, since most people through high school have decided.

I would not do it. High school is too young to be out; you'll get abuse.

 

Well, she's bicurious, which means by definition, she's not sure if she's interested in women romantically or sexually--that is, not 100% sure. You can definitely set a limit that you don't want to deal with a woman who isn't sure of herself.

Now, I have a question for you: would you date a bisexual woman who was sure of herself? Why or why not?

 

I'm a lesbian and my ex girlfriend is bisexual, so I've also been in this same boat as well! And I would rather date a girl who is a lesbian, than bisexual, because I also felt that (when she and I were dating) that she'd end up breaking up with me for a guy, and her thinking that her dating me was a mistake for her as well. After we broke up, I realized that it's just easier for me to date women with the same orientation as me.

 

I think that all of the attitudes expressed so far have been extremely offensive and worrying. Allow me to explain why. It feels to me like a sizable minority of gays and lesbians don't make any effort to think about what bisexuals feel like and instead go off of vague ideas. Research would fix this.

 

It's fine not to want to date a bicurious person, because that means you're dating someone who is not sure of him or herself. I definitely don't fault you or anyone else for that. But it is extremely discriminatory not to date bisexuals on principle. This thread seems to be polling people who have this attitude.

 

I was bicurious when I started dating my gf. Our 5 year anniversary is in two months. Dating a bicurious person doesn't always end badly

 

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So was my ex girlfriend, but I was never afraid that she'd leave me for a man. She could've easily left me for a woman; however, I just want someone who is sure of their sexuality.[/QUOTE]
That's true, my ex girlfriend could had left me for another woman as well instead, I agree with you though, I also want someone who is sure of their sexuality too.

 

It's hurtful to have people express, for what feels like the hundredth time, fears that bisexuals are going to dump them for the opposite sex. It begins from a fundamental distrust, and it's a distrust that gays and lesbians never level at each other, but only at bisexuals.

Also, the thread gives people a platform to say stuff like this:

All I'm gonna say is that I don't understand how people don't understand this is offensive before they say it.

 

You're probably looking for opinions from the other side (the lesbian dating a bicurioous girl) but here is my 2 cents.

Often times, we look for the worse possible scenario. We then overestimate just how much that worst possible scenario would suck (which, I believe, is part of impact bias). Chances are if she realizes she doesn't like women and is really straight, it won't take her an incredibly long time to discover that. Sure, this relationship could go wrong but what if it doesn't? If it were me, I'd go on a date with the girl and give it a shot. You never know what could happen

 

Penises aren't magical. There seems to be a perception that liking penis inherently means preferring it to vagina. That simply isn't true. For most bi people, both penises and vaginas are awesome.

What if you get serious and she decides she likes some other girl better, or that monogamy or even relationships aren't her thing? Kinsey 6s and 0s aren't any less prone to leaving their partners than Kinsey 1s through 5s.

 

I might be open for a one-night stand with a bicurious guy, but I don't know about dating. To me, the phrase "bicurious" always smacked of "dating the same gender sounds like it'd be a real hoot!" Something he's trying for shits and giggles, if you will.

Mind you, that's my interpretation of the term. I wouldn't have any trouble dating a bisexual guy, and probably not even a guy who considered himself "unsure". I wouldn't mind being someone "sampling" of homosexuality in a sexual way, but I'm not interested in being a guy's whimsical stab at having a boyfriend. Less a matter of sexuality, and more a matter of what I would consider "level of seriousness".

Pfft - sez you.

Lex

 

If I were to meet a bicurious girl, I'd totally date her. Simply because I'd like to give her the opportunity to explore her curious side a bit and see whether or not that is what she really wants. Sure, I'll be putting myself up for possible heartbreak if things don't work out, but in any dating scenario and any relationship, heartbreak is almost enivitable.

I'd also prefer if a lesbian felt the same way about dating me. Being bisexual doesn't mean that I'll leave her for a man. I've had more experience in dating men, yes, but that doesn't mean that, that is all I want

I've only been in one relationship with a girl back in high school, and I'm sure she was just bicurious. Though things didn't work out for us and she decided she liked guys more, it doesn't mean all lesbian-bicurious or bisexual-bicurious / lesbian-bisexual relationships will end that way.

Give it a shot and see what happens

---------- Post added 6th Sep 2012 at 10:16 PM ----------

:eusa_clap Well said, and very true :lol:

 

Unlike what a lot of people seem to think, not all bisexuals are unfaithful sluts who can't make up their minds. Just saying. :dry:
I may be biased, but I would give her a chance. If she really likes you, she'll stay. If the relationship isn't for her, she'll go. Just like any other person.
I mean no offense to anybody. Good day to all.