My dad doesn't believe in same sex marriage

My dad is very similar to your dad. He has no problems with gay people at all, but he is weird about gay people having kids and marrying. I think its just that he isn't used to it.

We have since then agreed to disagree and left it at that. I did tell him that I was going to get married in the future and that he better be there, which he agreed to, but we don't debate it anymore.

It has to be harder for you since you aren't out (according to your profile), but there is a chance that your dad might change his mind when you do come out later on. For now, there is sadly little you can do to change his mind.

You could try to explain how "separate, but equal" laws have never worked and imply that one group is better than the other, but if your dad is anything like mine he will simply say that people have to suck it up and grow up xD

 

If I were you I would make this argument to your dad. Marriage is a religious union, but it is also a government union. According to separation of church and state this shouldn't be this way. A couple should receive a government, "Civil Union," and then the church should issue marriage and have it be totally unrelated to the right contained within the government recognized bond. And these same rules apply to both homosexual and heterosexual couples.

That's the only way to really be fair about it.

 

When people bring this up this "definition" nonsense, I inform them that the English language is an evolving language. Definitions of words are not decided by old men in black robes in oaken rooms, but by how people use words over time.

Hundreds if not thousands of words mean completely different things to what they did before. Doing a simple Google search will bring up loads of articles discussing interesting words which have changed meanings in long periods of time, and very short periods of time.

The point is: if everyone starts considering marriage to be between a man and a woman or a woman and a woman or a man and a man, the definition of this will fairly rapidly change.

English evolves, and so too does people's thinking.

 

You're welcome! Also, maybe it's time for your Dad to start suspecting things. I'm not out to my parents either, but I make damn sure that I bring up gay rights and my support of them as often as possible. Even if they don't realise I'm gay because of that, their views will undoubtedly evolve if they see I'm open to something they hadn't given much thought to.

 

Hi.

The main push for same-sex marriage is equality and nothing else. Most individuals could give two shits about religion (as I do) but its the image that society holds that LGBT's want to change as it's unfair.

You cannot claim that a nation is equal and holds equality when minorities within the society are barred from those liberties, this would make the society unequal.

It is this basic fundamental idea of equality that LGBT's are challenging. Many people believe the Uk, the E.U or the US to be equal and free but yet theres still a fundamental inequality in the roots of our cultures, and although the E.U. is far down the road to creating a more equal society for everyone, (particularly in relation to the US) it still ignoring key factors that are important to some people.

People like your father who hold these views (my father most likely holds the same, although he's so selfish Id believe him to probably just say something derogatory and not give it much thought) are in a complete contradiction. They do not care for the religious aspect of marriage, but still, they do not believe men should be married to men and vice versa with women.

I ask; Why not? If there is no dilemma with your religious beliefs then what is your dilemma?

At the end of the day, sadly, it is hard to change peoples opinions. Im sure if your father knew you were gay he would begin to realize that his opinions are unrealistic as he seems to approve of gays equality.

Its great that you have a support group, so if you do not currently see the benefits of coming out to your family then you can work that out as you move on in life and feel more confident in yourself.

 

Correct, though what is your Father's view on that? Beacuse I would concider civil partnership marriage.

For me personally, everyone & anyone should be able to get married in the eyes of the state i.e. civil partnership where as marriage in the eyes of god should (sadly) be down to the institution that you worship with. You would'nt go to a gentalmans club and demand that they allow women inside, so I don't see how you can go up to a chruch and demand that they marry a same-sex couple if they didn't want to.

At least that's my opinion. :rolle:

 

I think the matter is less clear in England where there is an official religion. I don't think all churches should be compelled to marry gay couples, but I feel a little differently about a state religion.

But I think it's very important that the legal language for unions for gay couples be the same as for straight couples.

Using a different word for a relationship between a same sex couple than you use for a straight couple implies that the relationships are intrinsically different, and they aren't.

When you come out, you may find that the way you feel about it will influence his opinion a great deal. Right now, it's just a political debate, and he doesn't know it has personal meaning for you. As a bisexual, you have a strong place to argue from on that too--you can say that your love for your partner and the relationship would be the same whether the person were male of female, and the word for it should be the same, too.

I think you will probably find that your father will be more willing to listen when he understands that you have an emotional stake in this issue.