My fiance left me yesterday morning in the form of a text saying "im going to my mothers". We have been together for over a year and i loved her more than anything else in the world. I do feel like i drove her away, i have been angry lately and it has come out on her. I realize where i messed up and i know i can fix things but she wont even hardly talk to me. I just got out of the army and am now going back to school using the GI bill. I also have a son from a previous marriage, before i met the girl im engaged to she took my son and left (married 6 years). I recently found out my son was never enrolled in school and i planned on taking her to court for custody. I made this plan expecting to have my fiance with me and to help me. Because of my schedule (8-8 some days) it would take both of us to be able to take care of him. Now that shes gone i cant even do that because i am completely alone here. Right before i ETS'd from the army my unit deployed so now i literally have no one here at all. I know i messed up with her but i clearly see what i did wrong and i want nothing more than to fix things but she wants nothing more to do with me. I feel like my heart and soul was ripped out then my body run over by a truck. What should i do and where should i go from here? Should i just move and try to travel past our memories? ATM im just drinking heavily..
Leave a sincere voicemail, a letter, or anything saying you apologize and things relative to the matter.
try writing down your feelings and getting them to her in some way. this community seems to be friendly so you Should know that there are people here for you even if you can't see them in person. I am genuinely Sorry for your situation And I really hope it has a happy ending.
Most of these sorts of issues stem from a lack of good communication. Communication isn't just listening or speaking, it is hearing and understanding, and, almost more importantly, ensuring that the other person knows that you've heard and understood. Of course, if you're angry and projecting your anger onto your fiancé, then that certainly doesn't help. I think the advice of writing a heartfelt letter or email to her is a good start. I also strongly recommend the book "Just Listen" by Mark Goulston. It's a pretty revolutionary book that breaks down why communications fail and how you can "reach" someone under almost any circumstances. Separately from that, you probably need to work on your anger issues. Most men, but particularly men that are in the military, are trained to not allow themselves to be open, vulnerable, and allow their feelings to show, and yet this is absolutely crucial to a healthy and harmonious relationship. If therapy is an option for you, talking to someone about how you feel will make a world of difference. If not, talking about what's upsetting you here, as you're doing, will also help quite a bit. And our advisor team (of which I'm one member) are also available to help and talk with you, and that can also often be helpful. Please keep us updated about what's going on for you.
Well i brought her flowers and tried to explain myself. I apologized and meant it and i came up with solutions to fix things and move on but she dosent want to try.
