1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Confused Again

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Gold Griffin, Sep 7, 2012.

  1. Gold Griffin

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2012
    Messages:
    362
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    My brief period of confidence that I was bisexual leaning towards males that I was in when I joined this forum last weekend has ended.

    Sometimes I feel like I am really homosexual but that I am somehow trying to deny it. Other times, I feel like I want to be homosexual but that I really am not. Sometimes, it feels like all of this non-heterosexuality is just some sort fantasy experiment in my head. I even sometimes wonder if I really am asexual, and my confusion is simply me trying and failing to be like other people.

    I don't really know why I am posting this here, since this is pretty much entirely a personal struggle. I suppose I just need a place to vent this aspect of my general anxiety about being incapable of envisioning my future, and this is really the only place that I know.
     
  2. Chandra

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2010
    Messages:
    605
    Likes Received:
    0
    You are not alone in this confusion - a lot of people go through similar periods of uncertainty.

    There are some people for whom sexuality is not fixed - they often consider themselves "sexually fluid". They may move back and forth from one end of the spectrum to the other over time, or they may go through periods of time where they experience little to no attraction to either sex. It is possible that you might fall into this category.

    Another possibility is simply that you are one of the type of people who need more experience in dating members of both sexes before figuring it all out. There are those who are certain of their sexuality before ever dating or having sex with anyone, but there are others who need to experience these things before being sure of what they prefer. It also happens sometimes that a person will just meet one individual with whom everything suddenly "clicks" - and then that either works out, or it doesn't, and they find someone else to "click" with.

    I know it's easier said than done, but I would counsel you to try not to worry too much about putting a label on yourself. Keep an open mind, date people who seem interesting to you, and things will likely become clearer to you in time.
     
  3. Waterlilly

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2012
    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you for posting this. I have been struggling with these same questions for years. What I eventually did was tell myself I wasn't going to worry about it yet whenever I became preoccupied with trying to figure myself out. Eventually, this summer, the answer just came to me easily (I'm like 95% sure). It was like when you try desperately to remember something and then it comes to you hours later when you have given up trying to remember. Just relax and someday it will come.
     
  4. jimmaster

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2012
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I can totally relate with the thread poster. I feel the same way.... Really i have no input man im sorry.

    However id like to say that the answer will come one day...or has it already come and we just cant cope with it..? that's the million $ question....

    Id say lets be patient until we are ready to accept any answer that will come... if ever...

    sorry for bringing everybody down... and i say all these things all the while being in love with a girl.... so you can imagine my frustration at life and myself..