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so there's this guy (and he's actually lgbtq omfg)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by stumble along, Sep 7, 2012.

  1. stumble along

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    Hey, I just have some questions regarding this guy and I guess relationships on the whole, oh jeez, wjere to start.

    I guess ill start to how we met, it was on one of those gay social network apps, this was about oh June/july ish and were the same age and all and actually our parents live rather close/ close enough to each other.
    But, our colleges are in opposite directions, so right now were around 200-300 miles apart.

    He calls me cute and I make him laugh and he thinks I'm funny and we have similar interests blah de blah, and we recently just exchanged numbers and are racking up quite the text numbers (around 300+) so far in less than a week. So I'm pretty sure he likes me, and I like him.

    Now I'm not even sure if he does because we didn't even text much today if at all, we did alittle in the morning but he hasn't responded to two I sent today, but that's normal for everyone who texts me to ignore stuff. He also has initiated the texting as well which has never happened with me before so that also males me think he might like me.

    Anyway, if he does happen to like me, should I go for it and if so how do? I'm skeptical because of the distance, but it may help alittle because neither of us want to be out to my parents and he doesnt want to be out because he doesn't want to lose opportunities with people because of it (which let's face it, does happen unfortunatley so I see his point) which I'm fine with for now.

    So yeah, I guess if either he or I manages to ask the other out (imo planning on asking him to hang during winter break because we will both be nearby, platonically of course, friends first!)

    And I guess if it really matter we both told each other open book dialog and both of us have no experience with guys, he's had sex wIth a girl (and he liked it but he identifies as gay which slightly confuses me) and I'm just a super virgin.
     
  2. ForceAndVerve

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    Definately try and get together over the winter break. It sounds like he genuinely likes you! Don't think too much about the non texting for a brief period. Maybe he was just super busy or misplaced his phone.

    I guess this is one of those situations where it you don't ask, you'll spend the rest of your life thinking "what if?". GO FOR IT!

    :lol: That's just cute.
     
  3. stumble along

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    Even today though I haven't gotten a text, I haven't sent one either but I hate texting people more than once ugh, what do?
     
  4. stumble along

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    So we didn't text at all yesterday as much as i wanted to but like I said I hate having to send multiple messages to get someone's attention, even if they dont mind it.

    So what should I do today? Text him or wait?
     
  5. Iamthewalrus

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    Maybe he's just busy because it's the weekend and he has stuff to do? If you've got something to say then text him, but texting him with the subtext of "you haven't texted me and i'm being needy and wanting reassurance that you still like me" is not a great idea. As for whether you should make a move or not, I'd consider the bigger picture of whether or not you plan to come out further in the near future and what that could mean if he doesn't want to be out at all. For me that would be a dealbreaker because I'm open about my sexuality so I doubt anyone who was determined not to come out would want to be with me, but you need to decide for yourself what you want to happen in the future in your own life, then decide whether you think he could potentially fit in with that.
     
  6. stumble along

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    I think the if I should make a love is going to involve a bit of a lengthy talk, one that I don't think is appropriate for this moment, maybe if we are still getting along and we have actually met each other face to face, and we become friends, then I guess we could have the talk.

    And what would be an appropriate reason to text him for? If I have a question or if something interesting happened to me?
     
  7. overdesign

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    Have you met this guy in person?

    Sometimes it's a little strange when you develop a very strong relationship electronically but haven't had the chance to do so equally in person. I've had that before when you feel like you know the person inside and out (because of e-mails, chats, texts, etc), but when you're actually together, it's like being with a stranger. Maybe he's just waiting the take the relationship to the next step in person.

    Either way, I do think you should go for it. But try not to text too much. Ideally you'd talk with him as to why things have changed so that you can adjust accordingly.... but otherwise the best that you can do is match the responsiveness of his texts.
     
  8. stumble along

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    No we haven't met in person, and we haven't really discussed personal stuff yet. Most of our conversations are about school, hobbies, and gay guy stuff. We met over a month or two ago so its just been us talking I guess, we haven't our convos have never felt too deep as of late, which i guess is normal.