This doesn't even really need advice, but reply if you want, I am just going to ramble a little. First off, does any one ever wish they could just delete their datin history? It's a B:***: sometimes. I'll be sitting all happy and then I'll think of something embarrassing I said and it will make me all mad and make myself feel dumb for saying it. To a guy or girl. I mean since I have dated girls probably talking to girls and saying weird stuff and telling some Guys I like them. It is just do awkward and I really hate awkwardness. But then it goes in a circle because I try to avoid awkwardness by talking but then I talk to much and it just gets really awkward anyway. I have sort of been avoiding thinking about my orientation lately, I discovered my brother thinks he is bi/gay and it creeps me out just because he has a lot of sleepovers and I just get bad images. It is like when you think of your parents having sex, you just feel all wrong and nasty and DISGUSTED. Also, I really hope he isn't gay just because if we both were, that'd be suspicious and it would break my parents hearts because I know they would want grand kids. I guess that would still be a possibility through a surrogate mother or adoption but it still just isn't the same as a real born-in-blood child that is mine. It's just weird. It really weirds me out a lot to think that my brother thinks he is gay. Like I have nothing against it but he is my brother, just creepy. I really do still like girls too. I am going to ask a really nice girl I know to homecoming, that'll be a lot of fun. Maybe I am just really conservative. I think about having sex with her and any other girl and it doesn't turn me on but then I think that if she was ok with it or started it, I would love it. Maybe there just has to be meaning to my future potential sex. An emotional bond. I don't like the idea of taking advantage of a girl which is weird because a guy on the other hand I would be on in a heart beat. Total hookup, hot body, give it to me, go. What does that even mean? Maybe super hormonal teenager lust? So I guess I am asking For thoughts, not advice though, well I guess. Just reply what you think
As far as dating history - yes, once you start dating this is a thorn in everyone's side. But the thing about it is it's all in the past. A lot of couples fight about the past, but the thing to realize is that it's not that important - as long as nobody is hung up on something that already happened, the really important thing is what's happening right now, with the person you're with. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have an emotional connection before sex - lots of people are like that, men and women both. And there's nothing wrong with splitting your attitudes toward sex along gender lines - experiencing different attractions to different genders is fine, I would imagine. Finally, don't worry about your brother. Just do your own thing.
