1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I'm Transsexual, in the closet, and can't stabd puberty...!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Mad1022, Sep 7, 2012.

  1. Mad1022

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2012
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Okay, so two of my freinds know I'm trans. My parents, however, are judgmental and homophobic. At the moment, I have to wear a bra *shudders* -but I don't. I tried putting it on and tore it off like it was poisoning me.:tears: It's the same with shaving my legs - it just feels so wrong, and I know my mom will want me to shave my legs soon! How do I cope with this?! I am too afraid to talk to an adult or come out to my parents, and just one of my friends are bi-curious - the rest are straight. So they don't really help. When I see a bra, I feel disgusted and awkward, and shaving is out of the question. It's forcing me down to depression and I don't know how to cope with it anymore.:bang:
     
  2. DJNay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2011
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    From Joburg, SA but now live in Brisbane, Aus
    I know what u mean, and I feel for u man, seriously. I had my mom hammer me with make-up and heels and dresses all through my teenage years and when I tried to explain that I want to just wear jeans, t-shirt and hoodie with awesome skateboard shoes she just shot me down and that I should be more like my sister :frowning2: bras were the worse for me, they're uncomfortable and make me feels less of who I am, u could try binding? I don't know, that's just what I've been doing... Good luck. I'm around if u need a buddy :slight_smile:
     
  3. J Snow

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2011
    Messages:
    1,376
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Ames, Iowa
    I know you said you feel like you can't come out to any adults, and I don't have any experience with public schools (byproduct of Catholic education right here), but are you sure your school doesn't have a guidance counselor you could feel safe opening up to? I know I wish I had done something about my trans feelings when I was younger instead of just bottling them up until I was in my 20's >.<
     
  4. BNQ2012

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2012
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    I am not trans but I just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you. I don't even have any really good advice for you, especially since you are young enough to still be dependent on your parents. Just reach out to as many people online as you can and do as much reading as you can. Hopefully you will get to a point soon where you can express who you really are and have friends that can understand.

    One of my closest friends is a trans man and his teen years were challenging too. He has shared pictures with me from those days and I can't explain it but he just looks like a miserable, uncomfortable boy in a dress. It was heartbreaking. No one should have to go through that. Hugs!!! (*hug*)
     
  5. Pexetta

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2012
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Essex, UK
    Genders reversed, this was exactly how I felt in puberty. The further it went, the further it was taking me away from who I was. One consolation I didn't have was knowing that other people are going through the same thing, in both directions. At least you've got that...
     
  6. DoriaN

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    1,106
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Canada
    Also be happy you realized it earlier than later; I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner and I'm 23 now, soon 24.
     
  7. RainDreamer

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2012
    Messages:
    1,323
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well, something you can try is to change your diet. Switch to an anti estrogenic diet would help delay the procress of puberty and help you cope with it. You can google up some, though I would recommend you to consult a medical professional first.

    Since your case is completely opposite of mine though, I can't help much, sorry. =<
     
  8. Veronica

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2011
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Europe
    You are still young though. What you need to focus on is handling the pain and dysphoria. It is possible many places to get blockers that can hold back your puberty, but I'm pretty sure you'll need to get your parents involved to get that. Which sucks. But you can always get a counsellor to handle that part for you.

    I really didn't have much of a puberty. It started late and didn't take really well either. I only started to look like an adult guy when I was 23+. Which basically meant facial hair. But I too started late. Very late. I didn't go see a professional until I was 34.

    That said, my dysphoria was never bad. I always knew I was somewhere on the transgender spectrum. Ever since I read about that in a porn mag (yikes, good source!) at 15. I still consider myself bi-gender, so I don't mind having to be a guy part of the time, but I can't say I like it much either. I am still mostly female, and I eventually decided to start taking hormones.

    The thing about hormones is that they have less effect as you grow older. Also, if you have hair loss, it can be irreversible if it gets too far, so you do want to start treatment as early as possible, but most people do fine when starting in their 20s, even late 20s. This is for the AMABs (assigned male at birth). For you guys, the main problem is of course boobs. Problem with the body is that stuff that grows out usually doesn't go away. Wide shoulders, facial hair, throat (voice) for us; and breasts and hips for you. Some are easy to fix, some are not.

    I don't know where you are or where you'll be in a few years. But what you need most of all is someone to talk to. Someone who knows what your options are. The main goal of trans care from a medical point of view is keeping the dysphoria away so you can function normally. FtMs are a little freer to dress male than we are the other way, so that can help. Be a tomboy! Talk to someone, and if you can get it, get some blockers. The last bit does, as I said, require professional care though, so can be difficult before you're independent of your parents.

    Oh, and a tight sports bra will hide your boobs when they're small. That's what I do. It is a little uncomfortable, especially if you get warm and sweaty, but it works!

    Anyway, hope you can work it out! I also hope you can find some positive sides to this. Trans people are mostly very awesome people! There's a lot of drama at times, but anyway :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    *hugs*
     
  9. GayJay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2012
    Messages:
    538
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North West, UK
    I know exactly how you feel. This is what i was like a few years ago. My mum has a ton of pictures of me from the age of 12-15 with dresses and make-up on and a totally forced and embarrassed smile. When i look back at them now i think i will never let anyone see these drag queen pictures of me!
    But i was always ashamed of telling any adult about it cause i didn't want them to judge me based on it. But i did have to shave my legs and wear bras until i turned 16, from then my mum let me make my own mind up and it was torture until she did. But you just have to hang in there.
    Puberty is the hardest part for me so far its when your nightmares become reality, but it honestly does get better as you get a little older. And you learn to deal with it in different ways you will find whats best for you. Personally i just always had a different ego and name in school and with friends than at home.
    But as for now i would suggest looking up on trans groups in you area. The people there are adult but still usually young all at mine are aged 18-21. I'm going to one now and the people are really helpful, they will help you with feeling depressed, information on things and issues with your parents, and you get to know i bunch of people like you. I think until your parents give you your own free will to do whatever you want that's the best thing to do.
    So i'm guessing your a few years younger than me but yeah i'm here to talk anytime man if you need me.