I nearly came out to my two best friends at college today, but while we were talking, I began to get the impression that one is against gay marriage. She denied that homosexual relationships are real. To be safe, after she left I asked my other friend what she thought of gay marriage. She said that her mother was attracted to women when she was young but she prayed really hard and was eventually able to fall in love with a man. (Both my friends and 99% of the student body at my school are super christian). My friend says that she thinks everyone struggles with being attracted to the same sex but if you are strong you won't give in to it. I can never come out to them can I? They would be nominally supportive, but I will know that they really aren't. To make matters worse, I smiled and said something complimentary after my friend finished unwittingly calling my a pathetic, weak, coward. I hate myself so much for that. I don't want to see her again, but I can't tell her why. Do I just try to pretend that everything is ok?
I dont think those are friends worth having, it takes strength and alot of courage to be who you are, and it starts by leaving the losers behind.
I agree. Ditch them as soon as possible - you don't need people like that in your life and you're always going to have what they said in the back of your mind whenever you're with them. In my opinion you don't really owe them any sort of explanation. If it was me I'd just cut contact altogether.
Don't pretend everything is ok when they are not. I agree with what the two posters above said. You do not need people like that in your life. Find new friends who will respect you for who you are.
It's funny how those who don't know any gay people (as far as they know) seem to be such experts at homosexuals and their feelings. First off, for the record, your friend has a bit of truth buried in the misinformation. There ARE plenty of gay people who deny their sexuality. They intentionally bury that part of themselves, and force any non-straight behavior out of their personality, and put on a "straight face" for the world at large. That said, these people are not brave. If anything, they're the cowardly ones. They're the ones who are so afraid of what the people around them think, and who seek approval from them, that they're willing to bury an integral part of their personalities. And even so, their sexuality remains. You can't pray the gay away. You can only keep it smothered with a lot of effort and unhappiness. As to your friend, no, I wouldn't pretend everything is fine. In fact, you can call her out on it if you want. You don't have to reveal your own sexuality yet if you'd rather not. But you can tell her that you know gay people (you know us, right?) who have embraced their sexuality...and they're not cowards. They're happy being who they are. Lex
Being gay is anything but cowardly considering the discrimination & potential negative reactions from close ones you could get. Ultimately it will be a happier life as in the end you are being what you are instead of living life with a "Straight" mask...as Lexington said that is true cowardliness. But yeah being openly gay is anything but cowardly.
I agree with everyone else, and Lex made a very good distinction between those who are cowards. I put myself through a lot to accept being gay and I'm so happy now. It is amazing how people think they can judge us when they're already biased against us. I think you should tell your friends how you feel about homosexuality/gay marriage, you have every right to voice your opinion, as well and without giving yourself away. If I were you, I'd make new friends. It's not impossible, but some people rarely change their negative views about homosexuality/gay marriage.
First off, how does one being gay even make a connection to being a coward. Second, no, if someone believes that, then you are better off making new friends and not wasting yer time with such folks. I am sorry but a real friend would never say such a pathetic and uneducated statement as she did and you deserve a lot better then that.
She was supposed to come over today, but I told her I was sick. I really like the idea of calling her out on her homophobic ideas without coming out but I am afraid I will reveal myself by doing so. When we were talking yesterday when I was considering coming out to them, I admitted to having a crush over the summer. When they asked me what he looked like, I awkwardly said I didn't want to talk about it. Usually I would lie, but I didn't want to make up a guy if I was going to them come out. Now I'm afraid that if I give them one more hint they will figure it out.
