I just need to get this off my chest. Advice welcome. I've been really lonely lately, but I'm not the type to call friends or even email friends for help. Usually I come to online forums or just deal with it on my own. When I do try and get help it goes like this: Friend 1. RANTS to me about her future in-laws, her ex, her boyfriend's ex, her weight, etc. She'll write me novels on FB. I always try and help. But when I bring up my issues? No response at all online or if we're in person, she has this really fucking annoying habit of doing something else while I'm speaking (talking to her cat, trying to steal a sip of cola from another person while I'm fucking talking). She just ignored me on FB and totally forgot the name of the girl I was seeing. Now I don't want to talk to her and have been giving her one word answers when she tries to talk to me. I really am just disgusted with it. Should I be? Should I even care? Am I overreacting? I mean, even when she does try and "help" it turns into a long fucking monologue about her ex and her issues with her current boyfriend. Friend 2 is pretty much the same. We hang out in person here and there and he rants and rants about his current girlfriend and possible other women he's trying to have sex with to the point where you can't get a word in edgewise. I sent him a text two weeks ago when I was having a breakdown and needed help. No answer. Now I never want to talk to him again. Overreaction? I mean, if I got a text like the one I sent, I'd fucking text back. I barely ever talk about my issues with girls with them because he acts fucking bored (like I wasn't fucking bored listening to him for 4 hours). Let me know your thoughts. Ever been through something similar? I'm really disgusted with both of them.
Story of my life, you always help your friends with whatever and then when you need help NOPE, my only salvation is that at least once in a blue moon someone steps up to the plate. Let me know when you find someone just like us.
I guess this isn't really advice, but here are my thoughts. For friend 1, I think that doing things that are not disruptive to the conversation is more-or-less okay, but the examples you've listed are not okay. It's rather rude. I'd be annoyed as well if my friend were to do stuff like that while I was trying to have a serious conversation. I guess previous experiences have shown that this friend is probably not the best kind of person to talk to about your concerns. As for friend 2, I'd say that text responses are not reliable/predictable?, at least in my experience. But if the text was as serious as you say it was, myself, I'd like to have some sort of check-up reply like to see if things are okay..etc. In short, I would be annoyed too. Perhaps your friends may think of it as a general talk session about the problems going on in each other's lives, and they get umm too into it and get carried away?
Thanks for the replies. "In short, I would be annoyed too. Perhaps your friends may think of it as a general talk session about the problems going on in each other's lives, and they get umm too into it and get carried away?" Yeah, probably. My guess is they're really socially inept or something. The 2nd one can't take body language cues that a person is no longer interested in his story and the 1st one is completely self-absorbed and I think believes he dating of 2 guys in life makes her an expert on all relationships, past and present. You know what else I don't like? When she tells me she loves me. I dislike that. I don't say "I love you" to friends. To me, it's bizarre. I only say that to girlfriends when I am in love with them, because I say it with everything, body and soul. When she says it to me, I'm slightly creeped out.
