For all these years since I've started questioning I was very cool with myself being a lesbian. I've had no problems with that. But last week I realised I'm probably bisexual and, honestly, I'm really depressed. I would be fine being straight or gay, but I really don't want to be bi. I don't know why and I don't want to offend bisexuals. Now, I've been questioning for more than three years and I certainly had liked boys before that and I also liked them past three years. I just didn't want to admit it. I wrote here about last Friday when I was drunk and when I was kissing with my male friend. I wrote that I didn't like it. No, I didn't. It was a weird, wet feeling that I really didn't like, but apart from that it was really great. I just didn't want to admit it and I still don't want to. But all the weekend I was thinking about nothing but this moment when we were together. And if I had the chance to do it again, I would do it... even without any alcohol in my blood... In fact, today I drove him home and when we stopped and he left, I was really disappointed that we didn't kiss. So yeah, I do like boys and I do like girls. But I don't want to admit it... :bang: This is a whole new feeling for me because I was never in denial... how should I deal with it?
..very slowly Simple: Step one- stop saying you're a lesbian, say you're into women (that's also true, people will understand what you mean + you're not lying) Step two- take more attention to your feelings/attractions, write them down maybe? For a time. Take the time to consider your past infatuations as well and take time to tame your conclusions at your own rhythm. Step three- start saying that you're bi. First, maybe just even to yourself, and that isn't that bad. Then to strangers on the internet (yay for EC!!) then to some close friends that you trust not to judge you. You need to approach the concept of bisexuality slowly to get used to it until you feel good with it. That's just something to get used to. Also I suggest reading on it and maybe joining online bisexual groups. You might have some sort of prejudices against bisexual people and you could rid yourself of those prejudices this way... maybe you'll end up finding that being bisexual is desirable and you'll never wish to come back!! That's how it feels when you're free to be yourself (*hug*)
I actually just created a thread about the stages of acceptance, perhaps reading it will help you learn to accept your new found identity. Too honest, I think I'm starting to question myself again, so I understand where you're coming from. After watching The Real L Word and seeing how much Romi (she used to identify as a lesbian before bisexual) has changed. I'm not sure if you've watched the show. I initially came out as bisexual, dated both men and women, but I like women more. I consider myself to be gay because it feels right. And, perhaps a tad bit biromantic; sometimes I wonder what if I just haven't found the right guy --stupid little voice in my head :eusa_doh: Just take things slowly, I'm sure you'll learn to embrace your feelings for both men and women. You don't have to accept everything all at one just take it one day at a time
