Mom said she wished I had never been born

I'm sorry that you had to endure this kind of treatment (*hug*)

First of all, you are no responsible for your mother staying with your father. She was the one that was involved in an unhealthy relationship, and everything that happened was a byproduct of her decisions. For her to shift the blame on to you is incredibly immature, and I hope you won't let it effect you.

Secondly, you have absolutely no reason to feel guilt for anything you said. After a parent says something that destructive and hurtful to you, you should not feel responsible for anything you may have said, no matter how bad. Though I doubt it could have been any worse than what she said to you anyway.

 

Your mother is not just emotionally needy, but emotionally manipulative as well. It sounds like she's willing to say whatever if she thinks it'll get the reaction she wants. She pulled out the "I wish you were never born" AND the "I'm kicking you out" cards at the same time, but then pulled them back into the deck (sorta) when she found they weren't having the desired effect.

Does she care? Probably to some degree. But she obviously doesn't care about hurting your feelings if she feels she can get the desired response by doing so. Given that, I'd say pulling away is probably the smartest move.

Lex

 

Sometimes we say things that we don't mean when we are angry. I think that the saying goes for both of you. It's likely that she feels sorry for saying what she said as well.

But for some reason, I think that now that you both have it out of your system, it can only go up hill from here. Maybe you should spend some quality time with your mom within these last 2 weeks of your stay?

Because even after all this, she still is your mom and you are still her son. Maybe she just needs to remember that.

 

As Lex said, it sounds like she's a very manipulative person. Perhaps it would be good to give her some space after all this and maybe on reflection she'll realize how much you've done for her. Just don't take what she's said personally, because it sounds like she's got a great deal of pent-up emotions.

In the meantime, I hope, if you haven't already, you'll be able to talk to someone in person soon and that you're feeling better.

 

I'm sorry to hear that this happened. (*hug*) If my mother were constantly leaning on me for emotional support while ignoring my feelings, I would try to put a stop to it as well.

Your mother made the decision to stay with your father. Your birth did not force her. The decisions she made aren't your fault. The fact that she is blaming you for decisions she made is incredibly unfair.

I think some space might be a good idea. It would give the both of you a chance to calm down

 

My dad said that he wished that they made abortion while they could.

 

You're her son. You are not supposed to be her emotional support. She didn't sign that contract when she decided to have you. You have been doing so for a while because you're a good person, but even good people have a limit. You're reaching that limit. If she can't handle that, then she's saying she refuses to respect your limits. And to top it off by saying you should have never been born and that she wants you out of the house was unconscionable.

I think that she's probably not worth contacting for a while. I'd give her a month to settle down, and then you and she can have an adult conversation about what was said (in which I recommend that you do not apologize), and then things can go from there.

All in all, I am sorry that your mother behaved like that; so hurtful and terrible.

 

Awwh, I feel bad for you (*hug*)

I definitely would have walked out after what she said to you, and I think you were completely justified in what you said. Maybe it will make her step back and think.

 

I'm so sorry, here...you need a (*hug*)

No parent in their right mind should ever say that to their child; that's pretty low of her to say that to you. I'm a mother to 3 boys and I could never imagine telling any of them that I wish they had never been born. There have been times where I've been emotionally unstable--due to me trying to accept being gay. Thank God for my wonderful parents, brother and sisters who have helped me so much. I'd never burden my boys with my emotional problems nor would I ever take it out on them. I chose to have them, and while it's okay for your Mom to want emotional support from you, it should be to a certain extent. You're only one person and there's only so much that you can do.

I don't think your relationship with your Mom will ever be the same again and I'm so sorry. Perhaps, counseling will work, but once you're ready. You have us, here at EC and we're all here for you. You and your Mom need some time apart and those 2 weeks should fly by. Try keeping yourself busy by going to the library--I'm a nerd

If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you; my phone is literally attached to my hand :lol:

 

This ^

 

You said the right thing IMO and you definitely shouldn't regret it.

This time try to make her stick around with her counselor (I'm not sure if you can do anything about it though). Good luck.

 

<3

 

I don't have much to add but that's just terrible. Sorry to hear anyone treating another that way but especially a mother to a son. Agree with what's been said above. You need to stick up for yourself even when it feels wrong or harsh, it needs to be done. You gota look out for yourself first. Maybe some day some couple/family counseling might be good but for now I would think best is some space and keep doing individual counseling for both of you.

Sorry you have to deal with that! (*hug*)

 

Sometimes people say things in a fit of rage that they shouldn't..I have. A large part of my life I had a really bad temper and sometimes spouted off and said some things that I will always regret. Most of that had to do with being closeted and really unhappy. Your mother is unhappy for whatever reason. She said something that she should have never said. I just hope she will realize that she could lose something that she probably does not want to lose if she doesn't grow up. Hang in there. Hopefully she will come around.

 

i want you to know i think your one of the most sweetest people on ec . what your mom said about you has had me in tears . So much painfull words are being said and its not fair for you im sorry and im here to talk <3

 

I know what you me. I not my mothers emotional support most of the time, but she is also very manipulative. On the outside looking it doesnt look like we have as much issues as we actually do. I forgive her, because I naturally way too nice of a person, though I know deep down inside there is alot of resentment built up. So I can imagine some falling out will probably occur in the future once I dont have a reason to keep things calm anymore.


I dont think you did anything wrong. I applaud the fact that you stood up for yourself. (*hug*)