Does anyone else feel this way? I've tried dating casually, both people I've met in real life and online. I think I just don't like the idea of getting to know someone in a date setting. Whenever someone shows any signs of attraction towards me while I'm still unsure about them (complimenting me, paying for things, getting physical at all) I get very uncomfortable. When I fall for someone, I fall hard, but that only tends to happen with someone I've known for years. It's not that I'm not attracted to others, but there's a big difference for me between being attracted to someone and actually wanting to be with them. What worries me is that I'm not sure I'm going to find someone this way. It's not even like I have a large pool of friends to choose from- I've always been the kind of person who only needs a small group. And I think it's most likely that anyone I might develop feelings for would only want to be friends.
That's not at all uncommon. I feel the same way. There's nothing wrong with that. My good friend just went on walks for months with his girlfriend before they considered themselves to be in a relationship.
I think it might have something to do with being very guarded around people I don't know that well (not that they'd notice that, I appear very social and friendly). I can't fall for them until I let my guard down and trust them, which might take months or more.
I do the same thing. I just have to be comfortable with somebody before I start to be attracted to them. I also have a tendency to guard myself around people that I don't know very well.
I can totally relate to everyone so far. I feel the exact same way, I always have to be 100% comfortable with someone before I develop feelings for them.
Well, I'm glad to hear that others are in the same boat. I'm definitely guarded around people when I first meet them. I'm like you, Bree- I've learned to appear social without really opening up.
