Well let me see, where ecactly do i start. I guess ill start off with myself. I tell everyone im straight but the truth of the matter is im just not entirely sure anymore. ive always had an attraction to the same sex but it wasnt till just recently while i was drunk that i actually starting act on it. I grew up in a normal house hold and never had religion or anyhting forced down my throat and i already no if i did decided to say somthing that my family would be cool with it. Now about my friend. I guess for him we need to start at the begining. He grew up in a very religious household where everyhting he was ever taught was very tradtional. hes only ever had one girlfriend in his entire life and they have recently broke up. His entire life he has always been very sheltered and thought of gay people to be in the wrong. Now to get into the complicated stuff. Him and i have been friends for a long time. We have always kinda flirted back and forth and when we would get drunk we would share a bed, but it was always plotonically. Well once he broke up with his girlfriend we were drinking one night and shared a bed, well one thing led to another and we ended up hooking up a little bit. Now when it first started off he was passivly resistant at first but then immediattly got ito it and enjoyed himself. Well the next morning was akward to say the least and he was a tad distant for about a day and then he seemed to be fine and that everything returned to normal, well about week goes by and were having a few drinks and he finally lets me know hey we need to talk. He proceeds to tell me that things got wierd and we couldnt do that again because he thinks its wrong. I said ok and we moved on............but this was just the first time. Now flashforward about 8 weeks. Everything thing is going great, We're both back to our old selves being the best of friends and of course being flirty back and forth. Well now it was his birthday. A bunch of our friends all went out for drinks and we had a great time. Well him and i ended up sharing a bed once again with our own hotel room and once again one thing led to another. He out up his passive ressistance routine and then immediatly got into and enjoyed the moment. The next morning him and i had a long converstation and talked about what happened and that we cant keep doing this. We both agreed on it and we moved forward and all was right in the world. Now again flashforward 8 more weeks to my birthday, well what do you think since im writing on this thread lol. Yea it happened again. this time it was a bunch of buddies out drinking again and by the end of the night it was just us two left at the bar. Well him i are siting in the bar and i decide its a good time to bring up our past experinces. We start talking and we were both mature enough to talk about it and even start joking about it by throwing tips and advice out at eachother. Well we then proceed to a end up in a diffrent hotel from all of our friends and get a room for the night "since we couldnt make it home" we we get in the room and lay down. he straight up tells me hey nothing is going to happen. I agree but yet again it happens. we both play are ususal roles and then of course the moring comes and we have our talk. this last incident happend 2 weeks ago and we are completly fine. Im more or less confused by this guy. Even before all this started happening even while he had a girlfriend he would lay in my bed in nothing but underwear and let me give him massages. when its just him and i driving in the car we with find an excuse to accidently hold hands even if it is just for that split second, Hes constantly flirty to a certain point and then when he realizes that hes enjoying himself he backs off and whenever we sit next to eachother he used to always rest his legs on top of mine. I also forgot to mention in between the events him and i had i actually was the one who tried to push him away. I told him we couldnt be friends anymore because i was trying to protect him from me. After i said that ive never seen my friend cry that hard. Even though i tried to push him away to help him he keeps coming back. I feel lost, not only with my own sexuality but i have no idea if im chasing somthing that just inst going to happen or if my friend is just to relgious and to scared to try and take a next step.
Your friend is most likely scared and in some kind of denial. If he didn't like it or you it wouldn't keep happening again. He has to come to terms with himself and that could be a long ways off so i wouldn't let yourself fall for him too bad. What he is really going to need through all this is a friend more than anything else right now. It sounds like you're confused as well so you also have to figure things out for yourself. Once you do that you'll be in a better position to help him no matter what the outcome of it all is.
Welcome to EC! First off, people don't "end up in bed together", and they don't "end up having sex". That's called using the passive voice to remove blame. You ended up in bed because you wanted to end up in bed together, and you had sex because you wanted to have sex. At the very least, somebody might have "gone along with the idea"...and given that he was the one putting up "passive resistance", I'd say that was him. That leaves on person pushing the agenda, and that would be you. So, if I can put words in your mouth somewhat, "When my straight friend is drunk, I can maneuver to get us into bed together. And even thought he sort of says he doesn't want anything to happen, if I keep the pressure on, I can have sex with him." I think he wants to be your friend. I don't think he wants to be your lover - not really. Maybe he enjoys it if he has the alcohol (and you) to blame it on, but the fact that you have to get him drunk, nudge him into the bedroom, and get past some sort of "resistance" for anything to happen indicates that he's not THAT into it. It may be time for one more talk. Lay it all out for him. You like him as a friend, and you like him as a lover. But you're not willing to play the game anymore. You don't want to have to get him drunk and "push him into the bedroom" in order for something to happen. Either he wants it or he doesn't. If he wants to remain just friends, that's fine. You no longer will get him drunk, or share a bed with him (even platonically). You'll just be friends from here on out. See what he says to that. Lex
Yea we both have some important issues to work out. I've read enough post to realize I'm not the only one with this kind of situation and it also seems that he's going to be a lost cause. Maybe you guys are right I shouldn't fall to hard or I'll get hurt.
