This will be more of a ranting post in all honesty. And a bit long. I apologize in advance. First off, I'm an 18-year old, closeted gay guy. I still live at home with my parents and 2 older sisters due to circumstances that I have no control over (I'll get to those later). They are all EXTREMELY religious, and you guessed it, they are some of the most homophobic people I've ever encountered. Growing up in a household full of homophobes and hearing their constant jabs (They will all go to hell. God hates them., ect) was tough. I've known I was gay since I was about 9 years old. I've never liked girls in that way. One of the toughest things though is their seeming hatred for me. I know a lot of people have unsupportive, crazy parents, but mine seem to take it to the next level. They have always told me that they never wanted a boy. More recently I overheard them talking to my sisters about how "If we were allowed to have abortions, the moment we found out he was a boy we would've ended that.". Not only do I deal with their verbal abuse, I also have to deal with some slight physical as well. My sisters are perfect angels who have to do absolutely nothing. I've taken the liberty to give myself my own nickname. Cinderella. I do all the cooking, cleaning and shopping. My family does nothing except sit around and watch TV or play online all day. About a year ago, I went to the doctors for a routine test and bloodwork. They found something wrong with my blood, and 2 months later, I'm diagnosed with a blood condition that WILL eventually turn cancerous. When that happens, if I have proper medical treatment, I will have 5-10 years to live. But now with that looming over me, do you think my parents and sisters have started treating me any different? No. I know they hate me. I honestly and genuinely believe they do. They've told me this many, many times. But its kinda crazy to me that they'd hate me so much as to not have any sympathy, NOTHING even though I'm slowly dying and probably won't live to see my 40th birthday (or what my doctor told me). Now, you can imagine the amount of medical bills I get. Currently, I'm on my parents insurance. If I wasn't, I'd be flat broke. I can only stay on their insurance if I live with them though. So I have to choose between moving out and being free, but have massive debt, or staying at home for a while and endure more hatred, but able to save up to move out eventually... Finally, we get to a more upbeat part. About 3 months ago I started talking to a guy who lives a few towns over from me. We met in person after texting and skyping last Saturday. He is absolutely amazing! He is kind, caring, charming, and not to mention incredibly cute. When I was around him, my heart was beating so hard. We were supposed to meet today for our first date of sorts, but I got called for an emergency doctors visit. He is very understanding, which is great. Its hard to get away from my controlling family, which he also gets. I think I've found Mr. Right. Thats it for now. If you actually stuck around and read that whole thing, I'm sorry for its randomness. I just starting typing whatever came to mind... Sorry if some things are left without an explanation.
I'm so sorry about your situation - it sounds incredibly tough and you deserve a big hug. Congratulations on meeting that guy I hope the two of you work out. I know exactly how you feel about the controlling family and how hard it is to get away from them. You talked about your family's attitudes towards homosexuality - what about your friends? Are they more open? My family, while not religious, is absolutely intolerant towards 'alternative lifestyles' (including things not related to orientation like being an artist, which is what I originally wanted to do) and it was a big relief for me to know that although they felt that way, my friends were absolutely supportive and totally cool about things when I told them.
I'm sorry about your situation (*hug*) Are you absolutely sure you need to live with your family to remain on your health insurance? I believe most policies continue to cover you on your families insurance until you are 25 as long as you either have a full time job or are a full time student. I'm glad you found someone who seems to care about you. I hope things work out between the two of you =) I agree with crosscultures that you really should try to find some accepting friends to come out to if you don't already have that. I would also strongly recommend that if at all possible you should try going to an LGBT support group. Having a sense of community besides your family to fall back on would really help.
